Wednesday, December 28, 2005

pikot

yesterday i learned how it felt like for a guy who has been "pikot" to marry a girl.

for the first time in my entire queer life, i got to sign an application for marriage, and the sad part about it is that its with a girl...my bestfriend even. since her devoted fiancee is currently on dock at japan as a US Navy crew for the Kitty-Hawk, i was asked to proxy him and make beleive everyone at the municipal hall of Amadeos Cavity that im a full blooded STRAIGHT guy. which from margaux's sister-in-law's own divine words... i did perfectly. so there i was standing as ARCHIMEDES DEL ROSARIO, nodding my head with every question i certainly didnt knew the answer, even my address is being dictated to me. good thing the family seminar thing is rescheduled on the 19 just in time for the REAL archimedes to be back home, for god knows i wudnt want to go to such seminar... had enough in family and community medicine. awwwrrrgghh!

then later that day, tim, margaux and i headed for josephines and starbucks tagaytay. lounged ourselves in the cool, misty, and sweet tagaytay air. lovely. it was a perfect photo oppurtunity for each of us. its not always that the ALPHA PHI PI becomes complete. i love my bestfriends.

Monday, December 26, 2005

rapid eye movement

i got awaken this evening with the thought that an earthquake is rocking my bed only to find out that its my heart palpitating. and now i cant sleep my head off. i hate when these things happen. you wanted to sleep... youre in good sleep actually then all of a sudden youd wake up (probably thought of something instantaneously or by a text or call on your mobile) then realizing it wasnt a big of a deal, you decide to sleep again but the universe conspires for you to have trouble getting back in.

something IS bothering me. it has already been close to a year since my last relationship, and i know i shouldnt be blogging about these kinds of stuffs here all over again. nevertheless theres no one to talk to about it. i miss having someone. i come to think of it, i NEVER had a relationship in the first place. none that you cud call "long-term". it bothers me that as much as i wanted to have one, the more it becomes allusive. countless times this year ive been to that point of falling in love (and god knows how easily i am to fall), but for some sort of reason they either ran away from me or something in them that in the course of our acquaintance is prone to having PD's.

i dont know if the problem is with me or with them. i dont suppose im that bad looking (well i may not have the body or the face of a celebrity). i've always told myself that whatever my looks "lacks", my personality can compensate (much more my brain). but most of the time its not always the case. as what ive come to learn, not all people would like to have a "book" as a partner, or a "house-on-the-back" kinda guy as a bf, and much worse an "insecure-freakazoid" as a lover. people like "good-looking metrosexual" guys whos up for various activities per-se. though there are a few who dig guys like "me", but sooner or later theyd disappear like bubbles would in the air. funny coz if guys like me where infectious and contagious even, we cud have killed many with toll deaths equal to the tsunami victims.

i wonder where cud those "real" men be? or am i just not ready for him? questions remain to bother me, and comprise about one-third of my incapacity to get into sleep quickly. my ARAS center is hyperfunctioning again.

if only there's a way to actually find answers to common questions like what i have...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

4 days to go!!!!



it has been a long time since i used the alphabet to blog. so many things has happend to me. things that are so drastic and life changing. of course there was the death of my one of our barakda. coming through this year's christmas, i wudnt want to wish for my grades and stuff. id like to wish for my health. for everybody's health. living in this era made me realize that everyday we are at risk. that any minute we cud be gone. i wish that everybody be healthy (esp med students!).

__________________

yesterday, our class had our xmas lunch out. im so happy with the gift i recieved... its an electric toothbrush! hehe. i love brushing with it. then later that night, we went to tagaytay starbucks. and it was freezing cold. i had a nice bonding with my barakda. very laid back. i liked it.



__________________

congrats to my blockmates for winning 2nd at the annual MTG (med natatagong galing), galing galing natin!!!!. hehe. isang firedancer lang talaga nagpatalo satin! hmp

to our candidates for mr and ms medicine congrats din. for sai in her winning theme costume (as designed by me, and worked by bon and y and the others). as well as to robert, for bagging the 1st runner up. and to my co-hosts alex, you did a good job. lastly, to my orgmates, LIKAS, i know natoxic tayong lahat, maraming nasigawan ng ating presidente, maraming nakauwi na ng gabi, pero at the end of the day, it was all worth it. thanks!!!! we are a great org!

__________________

to everyone, happy holidays!

Sunday, November 27, 2005


in loving memory of a good friend... ansel rivera jr. i love you so much. i will miss you
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

Thursday, November 24, 2005


this is cool!!!! take a closer look on what our college logo is made up of? i made this myself...thanks to a program that i wudnt share to you! nyahahahahaha! bad me!
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

Saturday, November 19, 2005

before and after



i hope this complete na to...sobrang hirap gumawa nito ah... wala na sanang magtampo sakin coz wala sila dito. :) block c orig! love ko!

Friday, November 04, 2005

San Juan Chronicles by Jen M.

As promise, ito na yung Chronicle kahit nakalimutan ko na nangyari.

What: “KAPAMILYA BLOCK C 2005 SEMBREAK ESCAPADE”

Where: San Juan, Batangas

When: October 22, 2005, Saturday

Who: (Sibs in alphabetical order) – ar, paula, katricia, pam, sheila, inah, Julie, jayson (+ papa andrew), jen, wapi, rachel, ara, frank, enrique, randy, laurice, ramil, jern, tiff.


I – Pangitain

Habang nag-aalmusal si jhon, nahulog daw ang limang piso sa pagkain nya (tama ba rinig ko?). ay, strike no.1! Nabasag naman ng nanay niya ang baso. Strike no.2! ano mangyayari?.....later!


II – ENROLLMENT

Naglalakihan ang mga bag namin. Maaga kami pumasok para matapos agad sa pag-enroll. Unfortunately, hindi makakasama yung iba.


III – DEPARTURE AT 11 am

Tatlong auto. The drivers – jayson, jhon, and ramil (driving nrq’s car).


IV – SA BIYAHENG SLEX

Iba talaga ang hangin pag nasa probinsya ka na. Clear breath sounds!! Langhapin na, since kami lang ang open air na sasakyan at wala nito sa Maynila. Paalala lang, itali nyo na ng maayos ang buhok niyo at humawak kayo ng maigi dahil way to near death ang driving ni frank pero in fairness maingat naman. Samantalang….Wapaw!, Nasira ang makina ng fierra ni frank. His most jinxed place, santa rosa, laguna. Katapat ang enchanted kingdom. Ito ang patunay sa pangitain na mamalasin kami. After 1 ½ to 2 hours saka naayos. As usual, pictorial muna pero gutom na kami kasi past lunchtime na. At mahal ang pagawa sa mekaniko courtesy of patrollers!

V – LUNCH STOPOVER – JAYSON’S RESIDENCE IN BATANGAS AROUND 3PM

Sulit sarap. Dami food, galing nila magluto. Lalo na yung leche flan. Nakita din namin si baby RL, pamangkin ni Jayson na sobrang love niya. Hay, wag sana maligaw ng landas ang bata. Hehe, peace! Of course si papa Andrew, quiet lang. Ang mga sibs, Pictorial ulit… correction, mega pictorial ulit. Especially nrq with his hot ipod!! As long as I remember, paula-AR lang ang usapan dun. Since ugat na ang usapang ito ay di ko na babanggitin. What we see is what we get. Btw, pinaayos muna ung fierra ni jhon so hinatid muna kami ng kuya niya papuntang resort, somewhere in laiya (?).

VI - SAAN BA TALAGA? Around 6:30 pm

3 resort ang napuntahan namin bago kami nakapagdesisyon. Feeling ko, kung hindi pa madilim na eh baka maghanap pa ng iba. To compensate para sa mapagtitiyagaan naman na place ay sobrang tinawaran nila yun to P2500 kasama na yung videoke c/o paula and Enrique na heavy drama sa batong tagabantay at laurice and briggs na dinaan sa diplomasya. Videoke kasi ang no.1 na must have in the place. yun first place kasi, walangideoke, mahal at malayo sa dagat un cottage. yun 2nd place naman, pang masa at sobrang mahal. May decking hours pa at 10pm…. yun 3rd place, our place ay ayaw ng iba pero wala ng nagawa. Hehe!!!


VII – DINNER

Masarap na spaghetti with bread or kanin with menudo or beef at lots of softdrinks plus dalandan. Sana ganon lagi ang buhay. Habang kumakain, may sumigaw ng Help!! What? Help!! May nalulunod pala, nakiusyoso si Julie, jayson at randy… akala namin arte lang, totoo pala until one guy was trying to save her but then also shouted “saklolo!” kasi nilulunod siya ni girl so she can gasped for breath.. akala namin pupunta na si Julie (our swimmer). So the lesson, wag magswim sa madilim na dagat at magpakalonely sa malayo kung di ka licensed swimmer…


VIII – NON-ALCOHOLIC KAMI

Ngayon lang ako pumunta sa outing na walang inuman… as in! Bonding at peacefulness talaga ang purpose. Hehe! No need for alcohol just to be happy. Saka mas go kami na magkantahan hanggang may 5 pesos. Well, sarap matulog sa tabing dagat. Balak pa nga gawin ni Enrique yun ginawa dun sa love story in Harvard. Haha!! Of course, super sweet ng mga lovebirds. The time of their lives – tiff and ramil, kat and randy and jayson and Andrew.


IX – KANTAHAN

Ganda ng boses ni Andrew in fairness. Ang haba ng buhok ni jayson that night. Kilig ang lola mo!!! Dumating din ang the champions!! Ara as sarah Geronimo. Wapi as Mark Bautista. I forgot the others. Midnight snack at 10 pm. Others, played tong-its.. Kami ni julie natulog na at 10pm kasi puyat kami from the Friday overnight swimming din. Tulog ako so ano nangyari? According to jhon, natalo siya ng queenbee ni randy sa tong its at si AR nakapuntos kay…. Basta masaya siya, sumaya siya…hahaha!


X – UMAGA NA, AT MAY PEDIA PA SA MONDAY

Pero bago ang lahat. Maligo ulit tayo sa dagat na pag-aari na ni Randy patayan. Tama bang umihi para iwelcome ang umaga!!! Tsk, tsk. Anyways, pictorial ulit… since marami kami ay nauna na kaming maligo at kumain ng breakfast. Ang iba, nagpicture taking pa rin, naghubad, nagpasexy, nagpasolo shot. Have you seen enrique’s shots. Front nya lang ang pagiging gay. Lalaki sya talaga!!! Haha! Ikaw ha.


XI – UWIAN NA!

Pero bago ang lahat, kantahan muna uli. Bring back the old days… ang BOY BANDS! Yes, backstreet boys at n’sync.. enjoy na enjoy si AR kasi siya na bahalang kumanta basta may sponsorship… si Nrq, nagpapaka-finesse, ayaw kantahin ang booba song na traditional block C song pag outing. Malaki na daw siya. Asus! At para kay tito tim, kinanta ang picha pie ni kuya frank.


XII – PICTURES, PICTURES AT PICTURES ULI

Dumaan uli kay na jayson para kumain ng leche flan. Reregaluhan niya daw kami sa Christmas ng tigisang yanera. I heard nagyaya si Andrew kay jayson na pumunta sa Hong Kong on xmas. Naks! Again, quiet lang kami sa bahay nila. Wala silang relasyon, ok!


XIII – LUNCH SA TOKYO TOKYO, ROBINSONS LIPA BATANGAS

Para sa mahaba habang biyahe. Kainan uli… napuno ko yung card nila ng stamps. Actually, nakain ko na after a week yung libre dun… uhmm, hanggang sa pag-uwi ay nag-eedit ako ng pedia history namin na puro bura na. thank you kay ramil, at kay Enrique sa paghatid sa akin. Car wash!!!



Big thanks sa co-sponsors ko ng outing… The October and November celebrants!

The October Celebrants: Jernalyn, Inah Blanca and me

The November celebrants – Ma. Laurice on November 5

Arabelle Coleen on November 9

Ma. Katricia on November 11

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Sibs, sa Christmas uli. Btw, classmates, let us plan our x’mas.

Saturday, October 29, 2005


baby ipoddy ko!!!!!! love you my baby
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

cute ko hahaha
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julie, pam, jayson and his andrew, jern and ara
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pinatulan pati puno!
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mga adik
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sa bahay ulit nila jayson
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mag aayos muna ako ng buhok ah--ara
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charmed...daw
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kagaguhan ito!
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superfan and pampers
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takot ako! sira ka ramil!
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picture picture!!!!!
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hi-way to hell girls
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bilangin mo ang bilbil ko!
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un na!
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newly weds in our honeymoon at sunny hawaii!
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butterfly...este fly lang pala
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ganda ng photography...this is one of my fav pics
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babae ng aplaya
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me and ara... bkit ako nakatalikod? kse malaki tyan ko. ok? hope nasagot yang tanong mo!
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boys with big tummys...except for one.. hahaha
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pretty girls of sembreak
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mga prosti nahuli sa highway
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tiff and jern
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guys and gals of summer (este...sembreak lang pala)
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sunrise to ha
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Friday, October 28, 2005


cute ko dito
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me and jern
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mga hayok sa picture
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at jayson's house in batangas
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

Thursday, October 20, 2005

through the ends and back

as everybody knows, since sat (since i sold my baby to my friend) i have been having sleepless nights. and it got worse about tues, when i barely slept my night by 3am. wed i went to megamall in futile crusade to find my baby. then today, i went to rob manila again, a failure. back then i thought it might just not be meant for me at this time. my baby has been so cunningly hiding from me. but alas! i skipped my surgery class (ganda pa naman ng topic plastic surgery) to go to makati parksquare. God heard my prayers! the last black nano 4G is at Mobile1's stands. and i got it as quickly thinking it might again slip out of my hands. hehe.

and now, im so happy. elated actually. im sooo in love with him that i forgot about my so-called "heartache". i feel like its better than having a boyfriend ( minus the fact that you cant have sex with him), and much safer than my bestfrieds "winston lights" and "malboro lights".

i love you baby ipoddy!

(soon ill be posting pics of me and my baby!)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

nano-na-no-nano-na-no

my sis text me up around 6pm "commanding" me to pick them up at my lolo's place and later on to drop off at the wake of my mom's cousin. at that wake, "artista mode" kme magkakapatid. coz almost every relative from my mother's side was there and they havent seen us in ages. i notice that with my relatives, they try to praise you and associate you with someone you look-alike. one of my relatives (which of course i dont know her name) came up to me, shook hands and told me i look like an arab man. whhhaaaatttt? then i just said thanks. arab man it is. :)

rounding up my day yesterday, was my search for best deals of ipod nano. i joined this forum called podcentral, and one of the guys "mr laptopman" offered me 11.5K. our transactions are on the way. hope i could get it within this wik. geessshhh...prolonging the agony without an ipod is really excruciating. its like losing your love, for days and not knowing how or where he is. oh damn! i know ive been whining alot about losing my baby. im sorry people. i just cant help.

oh btw, skul will be starting tom. and honestly speaking im not yet ready. i mean i barely had enough breathing room from our exams last wik, and here we are again on the frontline of the greatest battle yet...promotion to clerkship. basically what happens with 2nd semester is that we (block B) will exchange schedules with block A. so in effect, we get opthalmology, radiology, med ethics, and obstetrics as our semestral subjecs including a whole year of agony with medical therapeutics, surgical pathology, surgery, pediatrics, psychiatry, fcm and medicine. count them all and youll get a soon-to-be med-dropout. hehe. just joking! of course kaya yan! hehe.

i guess its time for me to clean my room of papers and make way for another batch of trash. :)
 Posted by Picasa

Saturday, October 15, 2005

u-Nano

the best ever ipod! in no time ill get my itchy hands over one of these baby. baby ipoddy 2!!!! Posted by Picasa

Friday, October 14, 2005

I MISS MY BABY IPODDY

this morning i went out to sell to my classmate my ipod mini 4G, in my lavish craving to get a nano. and now, i cant help it...I MISS MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sooooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaddd. i went online to search for best deals, and ive been to the ends of the world wide web, and i even answerd to classified posted over at friendster selling their nano for 12K. anybody who reads this and is willing to help my longingness and my anxiety problem with losing my baby please do reply to this post. PLEASE! YOU KIND HEARTED ONE!

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU BABY IPODDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know ure in good hands....


:(

Sunday, October 09, 2005

off to bed

last night was a night of firsts:
  1. it was my first time to go to BED last night
  2. first full blown gimick i had with my highskul friends for since i dont know when
  3. first time i spoiled one good evening with my mouth
  4. first time that i knew my highskul friends have a little hatred towards me
  5. first time i felt friends feel indifferent towards me

i apologize for everything that i am, too much drink, too much going on in your life really makes one really stupid. its all my fault im sorry. i hope i could still redeem myself. i am willing and wanting to.

___________________

i hope i pass all my shifting exams... it gets tiring to fail in everything, friends, love, skul, family...

Saturday, October 08, 2005

sideburns

i was taking my surgical pathology shifting when Dr. Torres (aka R2D2, the living cadaver) noticed me and he told me he didnt recognize me bcoz of my sideburns (sbi nya: sino ung may patilya dun sa likod?). the little gay in him prompted him to approach me...syempre ang sbi ko naman "sir, ang cute ko no?" (take note, i asked for confirmation not affirmation...ok laurice! hehe). sbi lang nya "cge tuloy mo yan mas bagay sau". pumapalo ang gaydar!!!!

si sir talaga!!!!

________________

im wearing my contacts again

________________

Things you need to know about a PLM med student:

1. CBR - complete bed rest. a plm med stud orders this from his bed the night before an exam in FCM, Med Ethics, Legal Med, or in subjects that one is already percieved to fail. One golden rule in med skul: "kung babagsak ka, mabuti nanag maganda ka parin".

2. PTB - not Pulmonary TB but "pretending-to-be busy". gawain to pag micro nung 2nd year, and in FCM pag sinabing "ok class small group discussion".

3. Lola - term used sa mga matatandang babaeing faculty ng CM, specifically Dra. Tolentino (aka. Her Highness with her golden chalice), and Dra. Flores (aka. Madonna)

4. Dugong - college secretary

5. Cynthia Luster - assistant dean

6. vagina - when ENT people asks you on what you could associate the ear wit, tell them "vagina" and they will all praise you. Once i told them that i saw "two hairy balls", end result, those two balls were named after me. how frustrating!

7. The QuizMaster - tawag sa mga mahirap magpaquiz (quiz na lang nga mahirap pa!). namely, all surgery pips and now the reigning QM...Dra. Cruz.

8. When you tell plm med students not to eat in the classroom while the lecture is going on, the more they do, in fact in our classroom pa lang may sarili na kmi tindahan courtesy of the three ladies of the philippine flag (she, jo, jonamay)

9. fast way to pass: answer while you check! (sa quiz lang to ha)

10. Break - 4 hour lectures do need breaks, but for plm med students, when the prof says 15 minute break, it means 45 mins break.

more to come...ligo muna ako. hehe

________________________

btw, FYI, PLM campus is being studded with video surveillance cameras and TV sets on the hallways. what for? wierd. a public school acting like private. bummer

Friday, October 07, 2005

ellucidate and transluminate

FCM need-to-know for exam:

  • 19 transcriptions
  • minimum of 6 pages
  • toxicity level 100
  • prognosis= high
  • mortality= low
  • sedation capacity= lethal
  • need for procastination= urgent
  • immediate relief= read "pabati portion" every after each trans
  • treatment available= sleep (if unresponsive do "guess-sectomy")

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

im just a curbside prophet with my head on my pocket and im waiting for my rocket to come

the rain has its own way of keeping you away from your study...it makes you want to sleep.

well i just got home. i had my med thera and legal med shiftings today, i dont know but i had trouble with my med thera exam which i really cant afford to fail coz God knows how down my 1st shifting exam was. included in that exam was prescription writing, and always...as in always...i get to know the diagnosis and what drug to give, but i always get blanked when writing its prescription. so i ended making up brand names, standard preparations, signatura and adverse effects of the drugs, in all of those 4 cases which were 5 points each. i pray that they give me 3 or 4 points for those. pls! GOD!

i still have to master "the pattern" by Frank...good testmanship as they say! hehehe.

Monday, October 03, 2005

being fine on my own..one day at a time

i had my pedia shifting this morning and it was as hard as a penile erection (analogically understated). i dont know what in the hell Dr. Docktor (yup! thats his surname) has in mind in doing his exam questions. i didnt notice i was spending too much time on analyzing (better yet wisely guessing) the answers when the "last five minutes" was called and i have yet to put my answers on the answer sheet.

then i ate my packed lunch over at one of the shed and headed for sm manila to buy me that cardiology reviewer that i have always been envious about the first time i saw it from elaine. i just hope i could make use of it and not be won over by my habitual procastination. followed after, me and wapi spent time studying at starbucks at rob place, that eventually made wapi so sleepy that he went home early at around 1:20. as for me i spent the rest of my reading until 3:30. i had one venti of rhumba and one tall caffe mocha that kept me sane.

anyhow, last saturday i called up my parents abroad to ask how my mom was doing since she was having some abdominal cramps and moderately high grade fever, which ended up with dad scolding me of my smoking habit. i told him that i'd stop if he stops. and that made him furious so i resorted into dealing with him that i'd do what he wanted. but little did he knew that im still smoking. the deal isnt effective till he comes home next year march.

dad and i are stubborn...thats why we never get along quite well. hehehe.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

WHY DO PEOPLE ADVERTISE ON MY BLOG?

just when i thought people are actually interested in reading my posts...well no, they'd just advertise some stupid deals and promos with the heading... "i was just browsing around and saw your blog and you might be interested in blah blah blah blah!!!!!"

so dont go ahead and put your advertisement on my comments page, nor even think about doing it coz I AM NOT INTERESTED!!!!!!!!

SHOO!!

i hate it when you want to do something but you're just too lazy to do it

my 2nd shifting is due this coming week. since saturday i have been waking up at 3am with plans of studying but ends up staring at piles of transcriptions and resorting to going online and downloading mp3's. its such a bummer. i cant seem to concentrate. something that has happened within this week probably has something to do with it. i hate it. its worst than getting in bed at 9pm but actually sleeping 1t 2am. always frustrating.

friday, my medicine class dismissed us early (too bad to those groups who stayed for their precept). i was with paula, laurice and wapi hailing a cab on our way back at the campus to get us our copy of samplex's. wapi seated himself at the driver's seat and was in command of telling the driver where to go and what road to choose. the driver was going straight luneta park when we were supposed to turn right at kalaw, and wapi just freaked out "mama dito kme sa kanan!!!". walang sabi sabi kinabig ni manong pa-kanan...end result...banggaan to the max! hahaha. all of us went into silent mode, as our eyes fixed at the rear view mirror as if talking silently in the gaps of manong driver who continuously blabbing cuss words. we went out the taxi and walked our way to mabini to ride a jeep going to pier. sorry mr. driver, wapi didnt mean to freak you out and cause you your liscense. :)

then saturday, as i was having a good studying mood, my sister requested me to drive my lola back to their house with some of the things we prepared for a garage sale that will be set-up there. it has been long since i have been to our old house, and to see my favorite lolo. we had a good chat, my lolo and i. he told me he missed me...awwww. he's like my own dad, infact i spend more time with him than with my dad. he told me that the more i get chubbier, im kinda getting tito jhun's attributes. which for me is ok since tito jhun is cute (from among my dad's brother) hehe. speaking of tito jhun, i miss him as well. he's the 2nd im close to amongst all my titos and titas. i wish i could spend more time with my lolo. i remember when i was in 2nd year high skul, he would force me to work-out, lift weights and stuff. so every morning, he would make my mom wake me up at 7 to work-out with him. i was a skinny, vertically challenged boy then (well i still am vertically challenged), then my sessions with him stopped when i entered third year and thats the time when i started gaining weight (physiologically: sudden decline in metabolism causes an immediate increase in weight gain).

do you guys know where i cud buy "focus"? im currently in need of it...badly!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

pain a habit, hurt a meal, loneliness a chore

sometimes painful events have to happen for one to learn a lesson. its too bad that it has to be that way but God has his way of testing a person, coz life is and has always been a test, and only a test, coz had it been actual, He could have given us instructions.

tuesday was one of the lowest, the most painful thing, that has happened to me, and wednesday was the hardest i ever had to cope in skul in the whole of my academic stay. funny coz thinking about it, no matter how strong a person is, one can and will never escape breaking-down with friends when things are just unbearable. and its such an ease of heart to cry on friend's shoulder and hear them say "you're ok, were here". God has blessed me with so much friends to endear. hardest, coz you have not slept that night, have not stopped crying that night, and above of it all, you have to finish your presentation in skul, you have study, and you have to forget. you sit in class, pretend nothing happened to you and try to listen to the lecture, then you cant help it, you want to cry, you want to forget, you bow down your head and pretend sleeping.

that day, tim and i was at the car on the way home, and i told him everything. he told me things, a lot of things, things that i never knew was inside me, things i never knew i had, things i never knew people see in me, for i tell you people, even just one incidence could wipe clean your confidence...to its last drop. but somehow, friends like tim, are those friends that would collect those drops for you until you become whole. friends like ara, wapi, jern, are those that will listen when all the world has turned its back on you. friends like paula and laurice are those that would care for you without if's or but's. friends like myk and margaux, are those you'd feel you're on top of the world.

i dont know how long or how soon till things will be ok to me. building one's self up, over and over and over again gets tiring. proving something works like "love" gets overrated. meeting up, going on dates are getting scarier and frustrating now. finding new ways of coping is now being a burden to think of. understanding things arent the way i used to now. everything has change. so drastic and so painful.

and you have to be strong, coz people are counting you to....

Monday, September 12, 2005


full force!!!!!

josef and miri taken at puerto....love this pic.

nina, dr. collao (my fav) and pam

kunwari binyag ko! hehehe

me and paula

whatever distance could and will always divide

its nearly 5pm and i just got home, cut my pedia class thinking i might have trouble getting a ride, apparently not. :) during my pedia class, i sat beside a good friend and asked about her relationship status which from what i knew have ended a couple of weeks ago. listening to her sentiments, i have proven that its true...whatever distance could and will always divide people. that distance dictates what could and might have happen in between. and it pains me that its true...that it actually happens not only to me but to other people.

"sleeping to dream" is what people usually compensate for the longing and the hopeful ideation of being with someone. but we all get tired, and once we realized we are we think of how stupid we are to waste good time on dreaming. sad but true.
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2 more weeks and 1st semester, 2nd shifting will be through. its amazing to think how fast time goes by when youre really stressed and pressured. no vacations for me this year, by march 1 ill be starting my clerkship. meaning it will be my turn to be the lowest animal in the whole of medical practice. "pssst!"...that will be my name during those those time and i have to get use to it, plus the dreaded "harry-go-round" where dr. Go (surgery) will pick one case from your patients and you are to report the history, differentials, diagnosis, management, work-up in front of the patient, the interns, the residents and with him (of course), so kung wala ako alam quadruple embarassment will be my sentence. freightening.

people have always asked me where i would be doing my internship...just one answer...ill finish third year muna. "short-term goal" is my avenue.
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last weekend, i bought clothes for my nephew and still he's afraid of me...I'll never ever go to pedia!
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stress = recurring tonsilitis=me
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im beginning to like psychiatry after our topic on mood disorders and bipolar disorders...kinda like having relations to both topic. hehe. piece of cake!
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ill be posting pics of our acquiantance party after this entry. damn! grad pic is coming up this year...big dilemma: "with hair or without hair?" definitely with goatee!

HELP!!!!!

Monday, September 05, 2005

23

its the third day since i turned 23, and amazing how i survived not blogging for 3 months. it feels weird writing now, everything seems so new to me. my so-called "hiatus" has been such an amazing experience. so amazing that im too lazy to blog it right now. well just a quick check on my life --> im contented. and i guess thats what matters right now. contentment.

happy birthday to me!





Sunday, July 03, 2005

flatline

today is the day i had my full. i got answers to questions people have always left me hanging with. i started this blog a year ago because i was hurt, and now im temporarily leaving my beloved blog for the same reason. but allow me first to acknowledge people that has been the topic of my blog, people that made me want to blog

to...
venzo: you were my first, i loved you unconditionally. though the short time weve been together, ours has been the happiest. that time we went driving around intramuros valetine night coz we got nowhere to go. that time you showed me the entire city a top of antipolo made me want to have everything...to be the light that shines even in the darkest of nights, no matter how far, how little my light could reach.

itchan: you are the sweetest, huggable bear i always wanted. im sorry i dont have enough patience. i chickened out easily. i miss that time we were on a jeepney ride at 1am, and you assured me its safe.

allan: thanks for being my confidant during that faithful summer nights that depression and cigarettes are all i ever been. had you not listened to my woes, made me laugh, and tease me every night, i could have not lasted that long summer. im sorry we never get to meet.

adriel: youre one of the funniest and sweetest guy ive known. i would miss teaching you biochem, telling you how good and bad medskul is, talking silly stories over the phone. and sorry we never get to meet either.

richard: you made a fool out of me, but i dont take grudge. for all those times i travelled back and forth from manila to the south to meet you up and have some good times are all well deserved. i guess its just never meant to be. and you cannot push people to love you or give you much more than they could offer.

myk: thank you and im sorry. we met up coz of the most unconvinient commonality that we have, but unmindful of that we became bestfriends. i would miss our gimmicks, our spa, you singing, and those silly talks we have. it was a great feeling that i dont have to be someone else with you. thank you for showing me how special i am. for fighting for me. for taking care of me. for wanting only my hapiness. for crying, for laughing, for getting angry. all those things, all of you are, were all kept in my heart. but i would like to ask a favor from you to let me be, give me time to rest, to wallow, to build myself up. a month, two months, is all i ask. like what you said, whatever happens nothing can change our friendship...and im keeping that thought as well.

ryan: thank you for teaching me things i know but just failed to notice. like that one time you told me realizations/truths about my relationships. how bad of a fake it was. i had good talks with you, shared stories, laugh and teased each other. it was only with you that i had a date at 10am in the morning. like i always tell you, i want you to be strong. things may not be the way you want it to be but we all have to accept it as they come.

miguel: i would miss day dreaming with you. picking me up in the morning to go to skul, cooking me lunch for me to save my allowance, after skul id stay in your cafe to study while you attend customers, then wed go home together, then at night youd teach me my lessons, then while i study id just look at you while you are sleeping, then on weekends wed go out of town, go mountain climbing which you know i like the most, collect insects, go into caves, swimming, getting dirty with mud... it was a good dream. probably a dream i never want to wake up. but i did and too bad it was just a dream.

i just broke my record...3months, 2 months, 1 months, now 3 weeks. just when i thought the number series would end at zero, it could probably go into negative if i continue counting. but im tired of counting. im tired of being in the middle to two people. i felt like i was a fulcrum without the knowledge of how to keep balance. im getting tired. i really am. ive become played with, cheated with, used with, promised with, sacred with. im tired of hurting people as much as i am tired of getting hurt, picking myself up and moving on. this time i want to totally move on. i want to lead a simple life. that life where id just go to skul, go home, meet with friends, be silly. im tired of being bitter about life. im tired of thinking why things doesnt come my way and just why cant they be.

until that day that i have lived my life the way i want it to be, i can never tell myself i have recovered. surely its not an easy task to take and i might not be able to withstand it for months, but i will try to. i want my future to be what i want it to be, and not just something that my present has dictated me to have. for all the things that i have done, i would be paying for it.

it will just be me, myself and i (and friends)... nothing more, nothing else.

thank you for taking time to read my blog but for now im going on FLATLINE CODE BLUE (do not resuscitate) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i will be back on my birthday....

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

First Day Funk

Today started yet another grueling, fun, and exciting year in medskul.

I love "first days". Yung tipong late ka papasok and you know everybody is already there and youd get kisses and hugs from people that you miss the most. That feeling of excitement and happiness when you see other people happy seeing you as well. ang sarap. kahit na nireshuffle kme sa di malamang dahilan at parang walang saysay, e ganun pa rin ka tight. Jen even compiled our block pictures from 1st year to 3rd year in a scrapbook, and it was funny seeing me as sobrang "totoy" in first year, longback un hair, glasses, medjo skinny, a total NERD. but as Paris Hilton whould say "thats hot!" hahaha. damn, shes my girl!

we had our college orientation in the morning (which as expected started out late) and tim and i had nothing to do but to tambay at the Baluarte and smoke our lungs out. As usual the rest of my ever "pasaway" na barakada didnt finish the orientation and at 10:30 we saw ourselves heading to rob place just in time for its opening. and quite a lunch we had! dami namin, i think mga 20 kme? parang shifting lunch out tuloy. hihihi

then in the afternoon, he had our orientation in Medical Therapeutics (na tinotixic na naman kme with loads of things to do and know for the rest of the year) and Legal Medicine (na bawal kumain, lumabas, uminom, huminga, pumikit, gumalaw, and most irritatingly BAWAL ANG SNEAKERS!!! bummer!).

jhun, one of my bestest friends, came to visit us as well. hes the front-runner of Perpetual CM. PLM talaga iba kung humataw sa ibang skul! hahaha i always tease him with that!

we were supposed to watch a movie but nagkatamaran kaya nauwi na lang sa uwian.

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i miss my butthead. i always check out his blog, and ewan but i everytime i read his entries nalulungkot ako. mahirap pala un mag apologize tapus di tinatanggap. i hope in time magkaayos ayos lahat. i beleive it will. and i hope soon. :(

Sunday, May 29, 2005

VAMOS SAFIN!

all you marat safin fans rejoice!!!1 Congrats safin for beating JC on the third round. Safin has beaten Haas several times and im sure he'll beat him again on the fourth round! just too sad i wasnt able to watch the match coz i was at puerto gallera yesterday! huhuhu.

VAMOS!

Friday, May 27, 2005


world's sexiest tennis player as voted this year 2005. cool eh? feel ko we look alike (narcistic me!)

....

Monday, May 16, 2005


bibigay ka din pala e