Tuesday, May 18, 2004

ash castles

nothing is much more sadder than a rainy day. It was just me, my cigarette and a glass full of ice cold beer. The way i saw the flickering of my cigarette and the emerging smoke that elegantly waved pass out my bedroom window was so soothing and relaxing. I wish life could just be the same.

i have often been told to stop smoking. i even have a friend who loves me dearly but hates me intensely when i smoke. such extremes. its hard to quit on a bestfriend when you know that both of you had so much time spent together, troubled spared and endless nights of dreamy episodes. both of us grew together. unlike any other friends i got he's always there ready to listen. he gives me no nonsense advice, no mocking me around...he doesnt actually do anything...he's just there...always there without even questioning. he loves me so much and i love him too. i know we'll part ways too. in time i might find someone new who'd keep me away from him for good, or perhaps i might come to realize my susceptibility for CHD and break it up to him. But until then...until i have no one to spare my time with...until someone puts a light on me...me and my cigarette will continue building ash castles.

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