Thursday, May 13, 2004

the art of being pathetic

Being pathetic is easy but the hard thing is how to make it last. I can’t say im a pro at it but allow me to say that i have my share of it (not to mention being one for the longest time).

First things first...be a desperado (ala Camille Velasco). I am a desperate crap for loneliness, romantic idealism and believe it...but also happiness. It’s a matter of thinking over and over again of things that you miss out and missing out on life (that includes sex). Being desperate is not just being persistent but the mere fact that you think you are is enough to make you one. If you are like writing this stuff and feels that you are not making sense...then you are one...just like me!

Second, relive the past memories. Hold on to it like you have got no future and sooner or later you’ll be accustomed to smiling anytime, anywhere just with a second that you remember yourself holding hands with your ex or kissing him. And then you snap back into your own reality and find yourself alone and miserable in a mall or in a transit. And there you are a certified pathetic.

Third, don’t believe something good could happen. Being a pessimist is one thing but cynical is something one should master. I know im still not good at this so i shall not elaborate any further.

Fourth, be a martyr. There is no other greater feeling in a pathetic person but the feeling that you are hurt and no one has the right to get hurt than you are. It’s like taking in all the dirtiness of this world and sinking it in a ball and keeping it to yourself. You cannot hurt your ex though he has done awful things to you nor hurt your friends coz they cant understand you. In the end it will be you feeling sympathetic for yourself. The martyr syndrome works every time you want to feel lonely.

And lastly, don’t cry...at least not yet. Bottle up all your emotions. Keep it for future use. It will be synonymous to the holy grail or the fountain of youth or some kind of an antidote when time comes that you needed a reinforcement because you are feeling happy and somehow in your subconsciousness you feel the guilt that you are pathetic and want to return into one before everything is too late and you end up in the cycle again of being hurt, alone and lonely. Above all else you want to be STILL.

But look on the brighter side coz there isn’t any. Everything could change. Its a matter of choice. I’m sure there is a greater reason to turn the whole world upside down...like love. But unless i find it...im content into being pathetic.

Calling all ye single ones...come to me and make me LOVED! Nya ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

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