i don't know how to multiply

if there is one word that i fancy enough that's "procratination". since monday, i havent lifted my book, havent read my transcriptions. looks to me that i'd be cramming again the night before my exams. im used to cramming. i atually hate cramming. but its true that what you hate is what you actually love.

talking about hate and love, im thinking of things that i hate and love at the same time.

holy week vs. vacation
i hate holy week but i love vacation. i remember as a child growing up (exclude the height), spending the holy week would mean grossly sad afternoons and the feeling of siesta the whole day. no good tv around and no playing around. yes, we werent allowed to play at least so much. last two years ago, my family's "panata" on the "pasyon" ended. i have good memories of those years. before i even knew contemprorary pop, i knew pasyon. it was during those times that at the age of 6, my mom would wake me up at 4am to go to my lola's house to sing the pabasa. i miss the "sopas", the "puto", the "sotanghon" in the mornings "menudo" and whatnots for lunch, and "dinuguan", "sapin-sapin", and "ginataan" for mirienda. those were the times as they say, and you can call me "batang pasyon". though the years ive joined in the reading and singing, i hardly remember the tunes of most of it. as my years increases so did my likeness of the pasyon. my procrastination was increasing as years go by. i remember this line from tha pasyon which i usually stop singing with "....at nabakla si hudas..." i hate that line. can't they just replace it with "natakot" or something?


exams vs. promoboards
i love exams but i hate it when the promoboards come. im that type of student who would rather take an exam than listen to 8 hours of lecture. i have a short attention span but it has nothing to do again with my height (its genetics). after a two hour lecture my mind is starting to roam around its periphery. i remember during my undergraduate, most of the poems i wrote were a product of my lack of attention to lectures. back then, my attention span was even worst. after an hour i slip into my notebook and write about things that confuse me and amaze me all at the same time. i remember i was so close to flunking one subject, coz of me instead of learning the topic i bring to skul my tutorial books on how-to-flash animation. and i read it in the middle of my class. i was a bad biostud. well, im a bad medstud as well. nothing changed.

i was watching "bata-bata pano ka ginawa?" on tv just now and there was this line that made me laugh.

"ang pag-ibig di dinidivide; minumultiply yon!"

and she's right. love cant be divided. i have been dividing it all my life. and that probably the reason why i dont understand love. i dont know how to multiply.