Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Stop for a while and smell the flowers.....

Being a perfectionist doesn’t mean that everything will and shall always be perfect. There are circumstances that can happen beyond the control of a perfectionist.
Let's take for example, nani's pre-residency experience at OM's OB-Gyne department. He was so happy prior to the first day of the program. Excited. Like a little boy who is about to take his first bicycle ride. First day of duty turned out to be exhausting (physically) but bearable. There was still some sort of fulfillment felt by my nani. I even visited nani and gave him his new camera from his sister in Singapore while he was attending to patients inside the delivery room of that disgusting hospital.Pero di ko na gusto itsura niya at that time. Mukhang toxic. Wasak. Madungis. Hindi ngumingiti. Post duty and another pre-duty were unremarkable. The most challenging one was his last duty before he gave up. He was asked to stay for like 38 hours or so by his senior residents which was really inhumane. I felt the exhaustion of my nani when he would call from time to time during his ER duty. He sounded physically and emotionally drained when we talked that night after his 38++ hours duty. I knew that tt wasn’t worth all the effort. Hindi lang ako nagsalita. Pero daming flaws ng department nay un sa OM. Unsystematic, lack of protocol and procedures, no standard guidelines, no nothing. These are the triggering factors why nani (and his friend Pam) finally decided to quit that f****** pre residency program at around 5 am last September 29, 2008. Sa sobrang antok ng nani, sabi niya, sige, ayoko na pumasok. Nyahahaha…..galing galing ng nani…claps claps claps. . It was really and actually a relief. Para kong nabunutan ng tinik when he decided to quit. I can just imagine his hardships. He wouldn’t eat on time. He wouldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t brush his teeth. He wouldn’t take a bath. Hindi nga siya nag pupu ng 38 hours eh! Lahat wala sa oras. Haaayyy..Buti na lang….Hindi na nagtuloy si Pam at ang Nana. Medyo nagbago na rin ang mood ng nani during that pre res program. Mainitin ang ulo. Mahilig mag tantrum. Emotionally labile..Buti na lang nag quit otherwise, lagi lang kami magsisigawan at away to the max ito!!!!!Peace nani!!! Hehehehe…. Life is not just OM. OM is not everything in this world. Dami pa nila options.Dami pa hospitals dyan. And besides, Nani can go to corporate muna for 1 year.

Good thing nga lumabas kami nila Doc Leah last Monday. Nani realized the kabulukan of that department. She gave nani the option to try to apply for a slot in ENT-HNS. If hindi naman matanggap ang nani, may mga options pa rin naman to work as one of our clinic doctors.Doc Leah is really one hell of good friend to my nani. And to US. Im glad she’s always around when we need someone to be with. Someone neutral. Someone who’s more objective.

For the past 7 months that we’re together, I’ve come to realize that my nani is really a character! Aside from his boyish tantrums and “trips” (playing internet games, making kalikot, etc. etc), I also came to know the perfectionist and obsessive compulsive ENRIQUE. He wants to plan things ahead. He has a lot of fears. Fear of the unknown. Hindi pa nangyayari, pinoproblema na. Gusto niya perfect lahat ng bagay. Gusto niya mangyari in accordance to his plans. He worries a lot. Actually, these were my traits when I was younger. Younger means during my med school. Pero when I finished my studies, I grew tired of worrying about what will I be in the future. I took some time off to do the things that I missed doing when I was so engrossed with my studies. I slept. I went out with friends. I tried drugs (though I am not encourageing my nani to try this coz he might be out of control! Hahahahaha). It helped me a lot to live a worry free life. When the time came for me to rebuild my life, everything just fell into place. God works in mysterious ways. He will always provide. And these are the things that I always tell to my Nani. He should not rush things. He should not worry too much. Swerte nga niya ang daming tao na nasa paligid niya to help him decide. To be of help sa career path niya. He has a lot of friends. He has a lot of options. And to say the least, I am always here for him no matter what happens.

The thing that he should consider is that he has the weapon to conquer the world. He is a doctor. He has the DRIVE to be successful in life. If he thinks that OB Gyne at OM is too much for him, he can go somewhere else. Different hospital. Different specialty. Being open to changes could really be of aid when someone is on the verge of quitting or losing grasp of his planned life. Not all things in this world will always happen in accordance to our plans. Sabi nga ni Ces Drilon kanina sa TV PATROL, she has always been rushing her way to the top. Look at what happened to her. Guilty rin ako sa ganung sitwasyon. Sabi nga niya, it was quite sometime when she last stopped from rushing and smelled the flowers….Me too…..I tend to rush things at work and on my way to the top. I tend to forget about the simple things in life that can make me happy. When I saw the amazing pictures that my nani took using his new Nikon camera ( with raindrops on petals his subject), I tried to recall….when was the last time I stopped rushing to work and tried to smell the flowers?...There was an unfortunate event that happened to me on my way to work last Tuesday. A sicko suddenly threw a stone at my car. It was damaged but I jut looked at the brighter side of the situation. Buti na lang kotse lang ang nasira. Im glad hindi ako ang tinamaan ng bato. Pasalamat pa rin ako.Masyado kasi akong nagmamadali sa buhay.

Perhaps, my nani should also take some time off from thinking about his future so much. Nandito naman ako and his friends to take care of him. I guess he should stop for a while and take more pictures of flowers so that wherever we are (even at work), we can look at the beautiful pictures that he took and imagine their sweet smell. I know that this will make us realize that there are simple things in this life that can always make us happy…..not just our career…not just material things. .But the simple creations of God that we tend to take for granted. In this light, pareho kaming hindi na prapraning at napapagod. Perhaps, he should take more pictures. And I will look at them. We will both appreciate the simple but beautiful things in life. :-)


Love you nani. Relax lang. Nandito ako for you lagi. Happy 8th monthsary!

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