In 2 weeks' time, me and my nani will celebrate our 9th month together. Ang bilis ng panahon...it seems like yesterday when we first met, when we first sang together, when we first had our dinner date, our first fight, etc.etc....but we're proud to say that for the past 9 months of our lives, our relationship is going stronger than ever. We have learned to appreciate quality time better than quantity time. And talking about quality time,even if we just steal some time from our works during office hours ( like last tuesday, in the middle of my meeting, he texted me and said, "daan lang ako sandali sa office mo ha to give you your dessert na cake") , we managed to have fun together....kahit sandali lang na time, just seeing each other, making kulitan, laugh our hearts out,eat a quick lunch, are some moments which make our relationship more concrete...I know how busy my nani is. Yan ang buhay ng residente. Toxic. Been there, done that.
I visited him during one of his ER duties...nasa aquarium pala sila sa OM.Yung lugar ng mga ENT is inside a glass room... isolated from the rest of the departments...and may sarili silang window type aircon, hehehe(peace nani!) Tapos yung mga kaso,may mga trivial and just out of the stupidity ng mga magulang sa mga anak nila...Like the case of a 9 year old girl, who accidentaly swallowed a one peso coin while playing with it using her mouth...Yung tatay na nagdala sa kanya sa ER,buong tapang na humahangos at bitbit ang anak na nagsuka na and worried na worried coz nung pinalo daw niya sa pwet yung anak niya, tsaka nalulon nung bata yung PISO! hahahahaha.....i tried to be serious when i was conducting my "own" history of the present illness of that patient but i can't stop and laughed when me and my nani were able to sneak out of the ER! We laughed and laughed til our tummies ached....ang standing joke nga namin ng nani is that, dapat tinanong namin yung tatay kung sa tingin ba niya sa ER ng OM ay isang malaking KARNABAL (with hand gestures) dahil ang pagkakaalam namin ng nani is that, sa KARNABAL lang ginagawa ang paglulon ng pera at espada! Harharharhar!!!!!!!! those are the simple things that make our relationship stronger. TOXIC but fun...The good thing is, we both understand perfectly the situation that we have engaged ourselves into. I always tell my nani that residency is not forever...and he should not worry about me that i might feel na im " being taken for granted" coz we spend less time together coz of his training. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, pag hindi na ko nakakaintindi ng situation nya, dun siya mag-alala...coz i might be more demanding if that happens. hehehe....so far, i do understand this stage in his life and i will always be here to support him. Kahit na ilang sirkero pa ang dumating sa ER ng OM!
For the past 9 months, may mga stress relievers kami ng nana ko....We make fun of some words that are usually mispronounced by everybody...I acquired the habit of making my nani pronounce some of them and repeat them twice or thrice until we fart laughing...stress busters namin to and it they continuously add up to our thousands of "personal jokes and terms of endearment", that only me and nani can understand.minsan sa text, minsan sa phone, we happen to connect and end up smiling in the midst of our toxic jobs when we re-visit these words and pronounce them the NANI AND NANA WAY! they are as follows:
1. Blek beg - itim na bag
2. Blek berd - yung sinusulatan ng chalk...pwede ring itim na ibon
3. Propeysor - yung nagtuturo sa tin sa college
4. Pinobarbiedoll - madalas tong binabanggit ng mga pasyente sa ganitong paraan. ito yung barbiturate na anti-convulsant.
5. Binibining Undas - beauty contest ng mga taong kagimbal gimbal ang anyo.balak sumali ng nani ko dito.
6. Plez - pag nagmamakaawa ka na
7. Monosynaptic - pag ang nani ko eh tipong parang walang naririnig sa mga sinasabi ko at tuloy tuloy siya sa pagsasalita. Ex. nagpapabili ng laruan - kahit na sabihin kong di na dapat siya naglalaro ng toys na barbie doll, sige pa rin ang daldal na gusto niya ng princess barbie at yung rapunzel barbie.
8. Watusi - amoy ng ulo ng nani ko after 24 hours duty
9. Sonata - masangsang na amoy.... short for "SUnog Na Tae"
10. Muning- future pangalan ng pusa namin
11. Ipi- singular form ng IPIS
12. Barjer - yung tinapay na bilog na may karne at kamatis at lettuce at chez (keso)
13. Pichichan - manggagamot
These are just but a handful of continuously mutating vocabulary words that me and my nana are currently using to improve our relationship. Nevertheless, whatever form of communication we might adapt in the future, kahit na mag sign language kami or mag braille na lang, I will always be here to support my nani.
Love you very much. Happy 9th monthsary!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Top 10 Kilig Moments
Friday morning i was on my way to work, driving and listening to RX 93.1's morning rush... their topic was TOP 10 Kilig Moments. hearing the entries sent by listeners, i can't help but think of my own kilig moments. There maybe times when moments are deemed only by me as kilig well in fact it wasnt that "big of a deal" for my husband. Ever since i started with my residency, i felt that there are so many work to do. when i ask my husband that if its ok to quit coz i miss him so much... he would always say that "career people kse tayo". i had my psych exam for employment, and there was this part where i have to complete the sentences. One entry went "my work is...." i asnwered "is something i need to do for my family and my lover". i don't know if its just me, but ever since i had my husband, i have always looked work as something i need to do to for other people. having someone to share my life with, i have come to realize that life isnt a matter of my own comfort but includes the comfort of people around me and what would possibly dictate our future together.
This is my own top Kilig Moments:
1. I remember the first time me and my husband went to a date. eventhough we both saw each other's pictures prior to meet up, the fear that both of us has expectations that might not be met bothers me then. we were at red box, he was singing and in between his songs (he dominated the karaoke), he would make simple gestures that he wanted to hold my hand or hug me. at the car when it was time to drive him off back to his office, he held my hand and it all melted the ice away. that very same instance i knew i want him. he didn't know this until now, but i was in a total mess back then and i had to cover up things, him holding my hand even for just a moment secured my life.
2. It was the last day of my board exams. i was going out of my examination site, nearing the gate i saw people waiting outside... parents, boyfriends... i texted my husband that i wish he was there to wait for me. he texted back "wala man ako dyan para maghintay sau, but pag pumasa ka sisiguraduhin kong andun ako". and he did... he was with me when i saw my name in the internet and during my oathtaking.
3. there was this one time during my internship, when my husband asked me if i could accompany him to Manila Doctors to meet up some important people. he told me not to bring the car since he would be bringing the company car and the own driver with him. After our stint at MHD, i thought we would be going back to MCM, when he told the driver to go to Festival Mall. I asked him why and he told me he wanted to meet people at Healthway. We were already at the mall when he decided that we catch a movie instead. we didnt finished the movie coz we had to hurry back to manila for an urgency at my hon's office. he txted me later that day that we went to Festival Mall not mainly to meet people up for bussiness but to steal some time together.
4. way back, we had our first dinner as official couple. we were about to pay at the resto, when he pulled out his wallet and gave it to me. he said "you pay".
5. i was on duty yesterday, i was texting my husband how i miss him so much, that i wanted to quit residency coz it pulls off a lot of time. he said "konting tiis lang hon, di ka naman forever resident", to that i replied... "but forever ako asawa mo". my husband always has a way with making me feel better.
6. a few weeks back, i was talking with my husband on the phone, and i was venting out how bad i felt with my residency and with people senior to me. i was pikon coz i felt i wasnt being treated seriously by my husband. when suddenly he changed his voice from the witty, perked up comments, to a low, very forgiveful tone saying "di naman kita pinagtatawanan e". my husband seldom say sorry coz i know for a fact that its one word he deem so strong and so important. even if he doesnt tell me hes sorry i can feel he mean the same.
there a lot of kilig moments that i can think of but i just want to mention a few. its actually this topic or my top reasons why i want to quit residency. hehehe. i guess its a better way to cap off my weekend.
i hate to blow my cover, but im drop dead so in love with my husband. im so lucky coz i married my bestfriend.
i love you hon!
This is my own top Kilig Moments:
1. I remember the first time me and my husband went to a date. eventhough we both saw each other's pictures prior to meet up, the fear that both of us has expectations that might not be met bothers me then. we were at red box, he was singing and in between his songs (he dominated the karaoke), he would make simple gestures that he wanted to hold my hand or hug me. at the car when it was time to drive him off back to his office, he held my hand and it all melted the ice away. that very same instance i knew i want him. he didn't know this until now, but i was in a total mess back then and i had to cover up things, him holding my hand even for just a moment secured my life.
2. It was the last day of my board exams. i was going out of my examination site, nearing the gate i saw people waiting outside... parents, boyfriends... i texted my husband that i wish he was there to wait for me. he texted back "wala man ako dyan para maghintay sau, but pag pumasa ka sisiguraduhin kong andun ako". and he did... he was with me when i saw my name in the internet and during my oathtaking.
3. there was this one time during my internship, when my husband asked me if i could accompany him to Manila Doctors to meet up some important people. he told me not to bring the car since he would be bringing the company car and the own driver with him. After our stint at MHD, i thought we would be going back to MCM, when he told the driver to go to Festival Mall. I asked him why and he told me he wanted to meet people at Healthway. We were already at the mall when he decided that we catch a movie instead. we didnt finished the movie coz we had to hurry back to manila for an urgency at my hon's office. he txted me later that day that we went to Festival Mall not mainly to meet people up for bussiness but to steal some time together.
4. way back, we had our first dinner as official couple. we were about to pay at the resto, when he pulled out his wallet and gave it to me. he said "you pay".
5. i was on duty yesterday, i was texting my husband how i miss him so much, that i wanted to quit residency coz it pulls off a lot of time. he said "konting tiis lang hon, di ka naman forever resident", to that i replied... "but forever ako asawa mo". my husband always has a way with making me feel better.
6. a few weeks back, i was talking with my husband on the phone, and i was venting out how bad i felt with my residency and with people senior to me. i was pikon coz i felt i wasnt being treated seriously by my husband. when suddenly he changed his voice from the witty, perked up comments, to a low, very forgiveful tone saying "di naman kita pinagtatawanan e". my husband seldom say sorry coz i know for a fact that its one word he deem so strong and so important. even if he doesnt tell me hes sorry i can feel he mean the same.
there a lot of kilig moments that i can think of but i just want to mention a few. its actually this topic or my top reasons why i want to quit residency. hehehe. i guess its a better way to cap off my weekend.
i hate to blow my cover, but im drop dead so in love with my husband. im so lucky coz i married my bestfriend.
i love you hon!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Stop for a while and smell the flowers.....
Being a perfectionist doesn’t mean that everything will and shall always be perfect. There are circumstances that can happen beyond the control of a perfectionist.
Let's take for example, nani's pre-residency experience at OM's OB-Gyne department. He was so happy prior to the first day of the program. Excited. Like a little boy who is about to take his first bicycle ride. First day of duty turned out to be exhausting (physically) but bearable. There was still some sort of fulfillment felt by my nani. I even visited nani and gave him his new camera from his sister in Singapore while he was attending to patients inside the delivery room of that disgusting hospital.Pero di ko na gusto itsura niya at that time. Mukhang toxic. Wasak. Madungis. Hindi ngumingiti. Post duty and another pre-duty were unremarkable. The most challenging one was his last duty before he gave up. He was asked to stay for like 38 hours or so by his senior residents which was really inhumane. I felt the exhaustion of my nani when he would call from time to time during his ER duty. He sounded physically and emotionally drained when we talked that night after his 38++ hours duty. I knew that tt wasn’t worth all the effort. Hindi lang ako nagsalita. Pero daming flaws ng department nay un sa OM. Unsystematic, lack of protocol and procedures, no standard guidelines, no nothing. These are the triggering factors why nani (and his friend Pam) finally decided to quit that f****** pre residency program at around 5 am last September 29, 2008. Sa sobrang antok ng nani, sabi niya, sige, ayoko na pumasok. Nyahahaha…..galing galing ng nani…claps claps claps. . It was really and actually a relief. Para kong nabunutan ng tinik when he decided to quit. I can just imagine his hardships. He wouldn’t eat on time. He wouldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t brush his teeth. He wouldn’t take a bath. Hindi nga siya nag pupu ng 38 hours eh! Lahat wala sa oras. Haaayyy..Buti na lang….Hindi na nagtuloy si Pam at ang Nana. Medyo nagbago na rin ang mood ng nani during that pre res program. Mainitin ang ulo. Mahilig mag tantrum. Emotionally labile..Buti na lang nag quit otherwise, lagi lang kami magsisigawan at away to the max ito!!!!!Peace nani!!! Hehehehe…. Life is not just OM. OM is not everything in this world. Dami pa nila options.Dami pa hospitals dyan. And besides, Nani can go to corporate muna for 1 year.
Good thing nga lumabas kami nila Doc Leah last Monday. Nani realized the kabulukan of that department. She gave nani the option to try to apply for a slot in ENT-HNS. If hindi naman matanggap ang nani, may mga options pa rin naman to work as one of our clinic doctors.Doc Leah is really one hell of good friend to my nani. And to US. Im glad she’s always around when we need someone to be with. Someone neutral. Someone who’s more objective.
For the past 7 months that we’re together, I’ve come to realize that my nani is really a character! Aside from his boyish tantrums and “trips” (playing internet games, making kalikot, etc. etc), I also came to know the perfectionist and obsessive compulsive ENRIQUE. He wants to plan things ahead. He has a lot of fears. Fear of the unknown. Hindi pa nangyayari, pinoproblema na. Gusto niya perfect lahat ng bagay. Gusto niya mangyari in accordance to his plans. He worries a lot. Actually, these were my traits when I was younger. Younger means during my med school. Pero when I finished my studies, I grew tired of worrying about what will I be in the future. I took some time off to do the things that I missed doing when I was so engrossed with my studies. I slept. I went out with friends. I tried drugs (though I am not encourageing my nani to try this coz he might be out of control! Hahahahaha). It helped me a lot to live a worry free life. When the time came for me to rebuild my life, everything just fell into place. God works in mysterious ways. He will always provide. And these are the things that I always tell to my Nani. He should not rush things. He should not worry too much. Swerte nga niya ang daming tao na nasa paligid niya to help him decide. To be of help sa career path niya. He has a lot of friends. He has a lot of options. And to say the least, I am always here for him no matter what happens.
The thing that he should consider is that he has the weapon to conquer the world. He is a doctor. He has the DRIVE to be successful in life. If he thinks that OB Gyne at OM is too much for him, he can go somewhere else. Different hospital. Different specialty. Being open to changes could really be of aid when someone is on the verge of quitting or losing grasp of his planned life. Not all things in this world will always happen in accordance to our plans. Sabi nga ni Ces Drilon kanina sa TV PATROL, she has always been rushing her way to the top. Look at what happened to her. Guilty rin ako sa ganung sitwasyon. Sabi nga niya, it was quite sometime when she last stopped from rushing and smelled the flowers….Me too…..I tend to rush things at work and on my way to the top. I tend to forget about the simple things in life that can make me happy. When I saw the amazing pictures that my nani took using his new Nikon camera ( with raindrops on petals his subject), I tried to recall….when was the last time I stopped rushing to work and tried to smell the flowers?...There was an unfortunate event that happened to me on my way to work last Tuesday. A sicko suddenly threw a stone at my car. It was damaged but I jut looked at the brighter side of the situation. Buti na lang kotse lang ang nasira. Im glad hindi ako ang tinamaan ng bato. Pasalamat pa rin ako.Masyado kasi akong nagmamadali sa buhay.
Perhaps, my nani should also take some time off from thinking about his future so much. Nandito naman ako and his friends to take care of him. I guess he should stop for a while and take more pictures of flowers so that wherever we are (even at work), we can look at the beautiful pictures that he took and imagine their sweet smell. I know that this will make us realize that there are simple things in this life that can always make us happy…..not just our career…not just material things. .But the simple creations of God that we tend to take for granted. In this light, pareho kaming hindi na prapraning at napapagod. Perhaps, he should take more pictures. And I will look at them. We will both appreciate the simple but beautiful things in life. :-)
Love you nani. Relax lang. Nandito ako for you lagi. Happy 8th monthsary!
Let's take for example, nani's pre-residency experience at OM's OB-Gyne department. He was so happy prior to the first day of the program. Excited. Like a little boy who is about to take his first bicycle ride. First day of duty turned out to be exhausting (physically) but bearable. There was still some sort of fulfillment felt by my nani. I even visited nani and gave him his new camera from his sister in Singapore while he was attending to patients inside the delivery room of that disgusting hospital.Pero di ko na gusto itsura niya at that time. Mukhang toxic. Wasak. Madungis. Hindi ngumingiti. Post duty and another pre-duty were unremarkable. The most challenging one was his last duty before he gave up. He was asked to stay for like 38 hours or so by his senior residents which was really inhumane. I felt the exhaustion of my nani when he would call from time to time during his ER duty. He sounded physically and emotionally drained when we talked that night after his 38++ hours duty. I knew that tt wasn’t worth all the effort. Hindi lang ako nagsalita. Pero daming flaws ng department nay un sa OM. Unsystematic, lack of protocol and procedures, no standard guidelines, no nothing. These are the triggering factors why nani (and his friend Pam) finally decided to quit that f****** pre residency program at around 5 am last September 29, 2008. Sa sobrang antok ng nani, sabi niya, sige, ayoko na pumasok. Nyahahaha…..galing galing ng nani…claps claps claps. . It was really and actually a relief. Para kong nabunutan ng tinik when he decided to quit. I can just imagine his hardships. He wouldn’t eat on time. He wouldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t brush his teeth. He wouldn’t take a bath. Hindi nga siya nag pupu ng 38 hours eh! Lahat wala sa oras. Haaayyy..Buti na lang….Hindi na nagtuloy si Pam at ang Nana. Medyo nagbago na rin ang mood ng nani during that pre res program. Mainitin ang ulo. Mahilig mag tantrum. Emotionally labile..Buti na lang nag quit otherwise, lagi lang kami magsisigawan at away to the max ito!!!!!Peace nani!!! Hehehehe…. Life is not just OM. OM is not everything in this world. Dami pa nila options.Dami pa hospitals dyan. And besides, Nani can go to corporate muna for 1 year.
Good thing nga lumabas kami nila Doc Leah last Monday. Nani realized the kabulukan of that department. She gave nani the option to try to apply for a slot in ENT-HNS. If hindi naman matanggap ang nani, may mga options pa rin naman to work as one of our clinic doctors.Doc Leah is really one hell of good friend to my nani. And to US. Im glad she’s always around when we need someone to be with. Someone neutral. Someone who’s more objective.
For the past 7 months that we’re together, I’ve come to realize that my nani is really a character! Aside from his boyish tantrums and “trips” (playing internet games, making kalikot, etc. etc), I also came to know the perfectionist and obsessive compulsive ENRIQUE. He wants to plan things ahead. He has a lot of fears. Fear of the unknown. Hindi pa nangyayari, pinoproblema na. Gusto niya perfect lahat ng bagay. Gusto niya mangyari in accordance to his plans. He worries a lot. Actually, these were my traits when I was younger. Younger means during my med school. Pero when I finished my studies, I grew tired of worrying about what will I be in the future. I took some time off to do the things that I missed doing when I was so engrossed with my studies. I slept. I went out with friends. I tried drugs (though I am not encourageing my nani to try this coz he might be out of control! Hahahahaha). It helped me a lot to live a worry free life. When the time came for me to rebuild my life, everything just fell into place. God works in mysterious ways. He will always provide. And these are the things that I always tell to my Nani. He should not rush things. He should not worry too much. Swerte nga niya ang daming tao na nasa paligid niya to help him decide. To be of help sa career path niya. He has a lot of friends. He has a lot of options. And to say the least, I am always here for him no matter what happens.
The thing that he should consider is that he has the weapon to conquer the world. He is a doctor. He has the DRIVE to be successful in life. If he thinks that OB Gyne at OM is too much for him, he can go somewhere else. Different hospital. Different specialty. Being open to changes could really be of aid when someone is on the verge of quitting or losing grasp of his planned life. Not all things in this world will always happen in accordance to our plans. Sabi nga ni Ces Drilon kanina sa TV PATROL, she has always been rushing her way to the top. Look at what happened to her. Guilty rin ako sa ganung sitwasyon. Sabi nga niya, it was quite sometime when she last stopped from rushing and smelled the flowers….Me too…..I tend to rush things at work and on my way to the top. I tend to forget about the simple things in life that can make me happy. When I saw the amazing pictures that my nani took using his new Nikon camera ( with raindrops on petals his subject), I tried to recall….when was the last time I stopped rushing to work and tried to smell the flowers?...There was an unfortunate event that happened to me on my way to work last Tuesday. A sicko suddenly threw a stone at my car. It was damaged but I jut looked at the brighter side of the situation. Buti na lang kotse lang ang nasira. Im glad hindi ako ang tinamaan ng bato. Pasalamat pa rin ako.Masyado kasi akong nagmamadali sa buhay.
Perhaps, my nani should also take some time off from thinking about his future so much. Nandito naman ako and his friends to take care of him. I guess he should stop for a while and take more pictures of flowers so that wherever we are (even at work), we can look at the beautiful pictures that he took and imagine their sweet smell. I know that this will make us realize that there are simple things in this life that can always make us happy…..not just our career…not just material things. .But the simple creations of God that we tend to take for granted. In this light, pareho kaming hindi na prapraning at napapagod. Perhaps, he should take more pictures. And I will look at them. We will both appreciate the simple but beautiful things in life. :-)
Love you nani. Relax lang. Nandito ako for you lagi. Happy 8th monthsary!
Non-Reassuring Career Status
after 1 week of my pre-residency training at OB-GYNE of OMMC, i quit. together with pam we just realized it wasnt worth it. there are a lot of reasons to name but only a few reasons for us to make us stay. wieghing everything up i realized OB may not really for me. i dont know if its just the lack of system or administrative skills our chief resident has or my own need to feel warranted of all my passion. in one week i was able to see that the glamor of being an OB-GYNE is just an illusion. sobrang bigat ng feeling when i quit the dream i was customed to achieve. i felt so beaten by people whom i thought would help me stay. The working environment was in all sense worse. i dont have any issues with my immediate seniors but seeing them get bullied and walked upon by other seniors made me think that i cannot do it. the work load is not the issue, coz i know me and pam can do it. if only ara and katricia was there with us i knew i have a fighting chance to overcome the hardships. but having only pam and i against all other odds was futile. as a pre-resident im glad i was able to realize it as early as now.
it was political, emotional and undeniably impossible.
funny coz when pam and i quit, umikot mga pwet nila coz they were eyeing for us. but the thing is when we quit, they blamed the first years for our cause, which was totally unfair for them coz they did nothing wrong with us. doc tet disapproved of us leaving but nothing can make us come back coz we both made our own decision. its a matter of sticking up to that decision. somehow i feel sorry for all the people who already geared us up... dra. martin, dr. benitez (who already liked us from the interview), dra tet, dra. cha and dra. vita (who has always been so good to us), dra cister (who became literary my sister during the brief time i was there), and the first years (who made us feel welcomed).
when i was in my academic years, i have always seen myself as an ENT, it was only during my clerkship that i thought of OB as being my forte. i guess dra. cha, dra. pineda and dra datoon contributed to that idea. and now that theyre gone i dont know how to carry on. the only thing thats hindering me now to be an ENT is be being gay. coz i know for a fact that the dept of ENT got traumatized by their previous chief resident. doc lea said that i should prove them wrong. right now im eyeing to pursue my other dream as an ENT. i know it would be a whole lot of different since i barely knew anything about ENT. but doc lea assured me that everybody should and will eventually start from scratch. and i should start from scratch. picking myself up is one of the hardest things i always do coz its always a challenge for me to find confidence.
there are a lot of people backing me up, my hon and doc lea are one of them. i know im still a kid at heart but i know i have a work ethics of a professional. its just a matter of proving everybody wrong.
life after board exams is really frustrating... habang may buhay may problema. thanks hon for being with me and supporting me from all those problems. i love you so much.
it was political, emotional and undeniably impossible.
funny coz when pam and i quit, umikot mga pwet nila coz they were eyeing for us. but the thing is when we quit, they blamed the first years for our cause, which was totally unfair for them coz they did nothing wrong with us. doc tet disapproved of us leaving but nothing can make us come back coz we both made our own decision. its a matter of sticking up to that decision. somehow i feel sorry for all the people who already geared us up... dra. martin, dr. benitez (who already liked us from the interview), dra tet, dra. cha and dra. vita (who has always been so good to us), dra cister (who became literary my sister during the brief time i was there), and the first years (who made us feel welcomed).
when i was in my academic years, i have always seen myself as an ENT, it was only during my clerkship that i thought of OB as being my forte. i guess dra. cha, dra. pineda and dra datoon contributed to that idea. and now that theyre gone i dont know how to carry on. the only thing thats hindering me now to be an ENT is be being gay. coz i know for a fact that the dept of ENT got traumatized by their previous chief resident. doc lea said that i should prove them wrong. right now im eyeing to pursue my other dream as an ENT. i know it would be a whole lot of different since i barely knew anything about ENT. but doc lea assured me that everybody should and will eventually start from scratch. and i should start from scratch. picking myself up is one of the hardest things i always do coz its always a challenge for me to find confidence.
there are a lot of people backing me up, my hon and doc lea are one of them. i know im still a kid at heart but i know i have a work ethics of a professional. its just a matter of proving everybody wrong.
life after board exams is really frustrating... habang may buhay may problema. thanks hon for being with me and supporting me from all those problems. i love you so much.
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