Harvey's Journal - A new project

this is my new baby... this is a website i am now busy working on (takes my mind off from thinking something else). Its a site for my good resident friend... harvey from the surgery dept of OMMC. a starbucks coffee was a payment for this. ang babaw no? haha. anyway di ko pa tapus yan so bear with me.

visit: harveyjournal.freehostia.com

all in a day's work

sleep all day

the typist

a cup in hand, a heartful of love

doctors in line

im so sick

since yesterday, i have been having mild cough which was non-productive, it kept me awake the whole night. then just this morning, i had my pharyngeal walls examined by my co-intern and i have acute tonsillopharyngitis, non-exudative. i was having low grade fever the whole day. i already took one tab of para and started my amox with day1 at 10pm. what's worst is i had to stay until 6pm at the OPD coz my resident came late around 4pm to check on all my referrals before discharging them. and there was this one girl, aged 24, who "allegedly" took cytotec for headache which made her bleed profusely for two weeks. and the catch is she knows she's pregnant. we tried juicing in on her induced abortion but she kept on denying she took it deliberately when she found out that she would be blottered by the NBI for that. frank kept on pushing me to scold the girl coz he knows i hate abortions, but i lacked strength that i just let her. anyway, my resident did all the scolding.

i hate being sick. im already stressed with all that has been going around in my life and here i am bothered by my health. sigh... can't it all stop?....

bakit di dalawin

i don't why but its been months and yet i still feel empty. Im laughing but im crying on the inside. as i was lying at our intern's quarters, i suddenly felt all the memories coming back. the happy days i have spent, those nights that eventhough i havent had any sleep made me awake just to be with someone. i don't know how i could move on...honestly. im trying very hard. you just dont know why. i miss those times i would get a text asking how i am, have i eaten, if im tired, if i have studied. you know that feeling that you're moving around in the world but you dont feel you mean anything... that you're just "existing"... that's how i am right now. so many questions i can't answer. i dont know how to help myself....

___________________________________

** i was listening to soapdish's song "Pwede ba"... i cried. i remember i used to watch them at 70s bistro. then my friend andrea called me up. parang nsa tiyempo na tumawag sya. she cheered me up. she told me bat di ko sya itext kung nalulungkot ako, and i just told her i dont know. sigh.... ang gulo... ang gulo ng icip ko.

single na nga pala ako

medical schools in the country was in a clamor with eri hatcher's line in desperate housewives where she questioned the doctor after being diagnosed menopausal saying that she needs papers so as to make sure he's (doctor) not a graduate of some medical school in the philippines.

yep, she said it clearly "some schools in the philippines". i dont know what the writers were up to when they put it in their script. many doctors are now taking up MLE and many of them are successful in the states. as far as i know, filipino doctors are much more knowledgeable then westeners. a filipino doctor can diagnose a patient even without any ancillary procedures, relying mainly on the clinical picture, the signs and symptoms. a filipino doctor, though pressed for new technologies is still at par with the kind of resourcefullness in their management. and what sets filipino doctors apart from the rest is the kind of service we entail, a service that has become an obligation to reach those whose medical attention is of great value... the poor. being a filipino doctor is still one of the noblest of all deeds. the greatest of all profession.
___________________________

i was checking up friendster, saw one profile that reminded me that i am actually single. i was so slow to notice it was changed. damn. single na nga talaga din ako. kawawa naman ako kung di ko din i change, bka sabihin ng mga tao im still lingering on (which is true... hahaha). oh well... slowly im getting there....

she's arriving

i was bound to leave the hospital early this morning to pick my mom at the airport, but she called me last night at 12md to inform me that her airplane wont be leaving until 4am, and that she would be arriving at 6pm today. i miss my mom. sometimes i wish i could open up to her. i wish i could tell her what has been happening to me lately. all the trouble ive been through, and the sadness that still lingers. i envision her hugging me and telling me it would be alright son. but i can't. it would pain her so much to see her son in loneliness. and the reasons would even hurt her more. i just have to keep it. these past few days she calls me and asks me what i like. i told her of course. she said she bought me a pair of chucks, a new style i saw over the internet and a crocs. my dad bought me a milano shoes and my fav perfume... armani code black. so aside from me missing my mom, im excited coz ill be getting suffs. hehehe. my sister will be leaving this month for the US, and i better get ready my list of pasalubong. hahaha.
_____________________________

ive downloaded a couple ot programs that has been keeping me busy learning these past few days. Photodex Proshow Producer and adobe photoshop CS3. i have a project before this year ends, so i better start, coz by january ill be starting my own reveiw for the boards.

______________________________
time fly so fast, but loneliness always put a halt into everything.
______________________________
im currently listening to silent sanctuary's version of APO's tuyo na ang damdamin... a song that reminds me how sad i am and how reality tells me i can never go back coz his heart is dry. sad.


Silent Sanctuary - Tuyo Na'ng Damdamin lyrics

Minsan kahit na pilitin mong uminit ang damdamin
Di siya susunod, at di maglalambing
Minsan di mo na mapigil mapansin
Na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal

[Refrain]
At kahit na anong gawin
Di mo na mapilit at madaya
Aminin sa sarili mo
Na wala ka nang mabubuga

Parang 'sang kandila na nagdadala
Ng ilaw at liwanag
Nauubos rin sa magdamag

(Instrumental)
Minsan di mo na mapigil mapansin
Na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal

(Repeat Refrain)
Di na madaig o mabalik ang dating matamis na kahapon
Pilitin ma'y tuyo na'ng damdamin

Tuyo na'ng damdamin (repeat 4x)ha......