soon its over

after a year of clerkship in two weeks time it will all be over. in that one year i spent in the hospital i learned so many..

1. patience. interacting with people has always been so easy for me, but its different in the hospital. most of the times my patience was challenged with stress. 36 hours of duty would always take its toll on how i mingle with people. i learned its not easy to hold your smile after all those hours, but nevertheless i have to.
2. friendship. when i was starting, i was oblivious of the people around me. but as i come along, met wonderful people. people i knew and felt i belong. i have become friends with patients, nurses, nursing aids, student doctors, doctors, and even collegues whom my only relationship during accad days were just mere acquaintances became one of my trusted friends. having been with people for a year, everyday, 7 days a week, no holidays, no weekends off, would make all of you become close. its a great feeling whenever people greet you early in the morning and even as you go home and pass by them. and moments that even outside the hospital, patients would turn to you and say "musta na doc?" "salamant doc ha". those things i really treasured.
3. fun. its definitely wrong to say doctors know no fun. we do. we make time. and even inside the hospital, we make fun of ourselves not to mention numerous bloopers till we die will become a laughing stock whenver remembered.
4 home. staying in the hospital would definitely teach you how to miss home. the comforts of a pillow, and the wonders of TV. plus the family riot. :)
5. love. never knew id ever find one in the middle of my not so eventful life as a medical clerk. before i was actually certain that wouldnt find one. before i used to get envious of my collegues having been visited by their bfs/gfs in the hospital. i experienced that and it was more than i expected to be. it felt so nice. before whenver i go home, i would always pray its morning so that i could go to work again and take me out of my misery of being alone. i was eager to go to work, coz work was all i got and it was all that ws keeping me. but then one person made me realize that there is more to life than the hospital. that the world still revolves around and people are busy doing their own little ways outside the four cornered box i am in. and i am happy i learned that. previledged i have him. thankful he loves me.
6. sympathize not emphatize. its one lesson that still is hard for me. people might think i dont have any amor to patients. that id rather see them dead than ruin my whole duty with no sleep. deep inside of me, i feel for them. i remember this one one patient that made me realize that i was still human capable of feelings. his name is alexander dela cruz, he died of an unknown cause. i saw him from day 0 till his last breath. he was the reason i cried, and i prayed for eveynight. too bad his lessons to me were cut short by his untimely demise. he may not know it but he will be one of the reasons i will strive to become a better doctor.
7. being ready. clerkship has taught me to be ready. to be confident of myself. my training employed a sense of "captain of the ship". i was responsible for my patients, to my residents, and to myself. it was one lesson i still keep on learning, coz its hard to decide on things. to things on your own. but going through one year of that predicament, made me became more aggressive with life. to take risks, to assert myself.

lastly, i learned im still at the brink of "i-dont-know-whats-next" stage. what will happen to me after i graduate. would i venture to a new world, a new hospital or would i stay to a place were i have become comfortable with? would i still see my friends, would i meet more friends? would i still be ready for things? can i handle new things?

questions that haunt me everyday as it becomes clearer to me that i have elevated myself from people... i finished MEDICINE.