i am found

back when i started this blog, my main objective was to get me out of my miserable, depressing, and somewhat funny life that i was too lazy enough to write on a diary (nevertheless, typing is much more less strenous). maybe this would be the first post i'd ever write good things about love...

yes, i'd like to make a public anouncement that i finally met someone (you can check your vision and you sure did read it right). Me, the bitter one, has finally met a match. its something that i'm proud of, for the main reason that i proved myself that i am capable to love and feel that someone does feel the same.

let me make you a good introductory about him...

my friend, classmate and niece in class, ara introduced me to him. actually i wasnt really the first choice, it just happened that they accidentally saw my profile over the net when they both decided to go online while waiting for ara's sister. and the rest as you can say it was history. he's a year younger than i am, sings very well (in fact he's a monthly finalist at star in a million...and he's not micheal cruz ok?), and chubby...hehehe

it has been so long that i felt this kind of feeling. a feeling of agitation when he fails to text me coz he's phone got low in battery, a feeling of guilt when i have my qualms about silly stuffs, a feeling of satisfaction when i see a smile on his face when i brought him food to his house, a feeling of happiness when im with him on a movie or dining out, a feeling of worth when he sings to me over the phone of songs i barely knew the titles, and a sense of gratitude that someone notices my eyes, my lips, my face and never get tired of looking at them.

all the while i was afraid that i might not be able to find someone for me, that i would be spending yet another christmas or any other holiday without someone i would lovingly greet. for a second i was afraid that all i got left was just me. and its just but a bittersweet gift that after all that i have endured, all the miscontrued emotions i have, and after all the bittering about, i finally can leave it all behind and write something that im happy about...that im proud of.

love for me is not just having a companion or sharing intimate moments with, nor is it just a word to label something so profound a feeling...but knowing that even if the two of you are lost in a crowd, that not even the sight of his hair you cant see, not the smell of his distinctive perfume could not reach you, deep in your heart, in the stillness of your soul, you know that you can never be lost...that you are already found.