i have always had a grudge with christmas and the holiday season. why? since childhood i barely recall one happy christmas. i was sickly back then and i dont know for such reason why sickness always come on christmas season. i even have pictures where all of my family were in nice dresses and me in my pajamas coz im bedridden. sigh. its either i was sick or my parents werent home for christmas. medicine life came and i was even more exhausted with christmas. last year during my internship, due to my depression, i aggreed to take all eve duties, christmas eve and new years eve. it was an eye opener for me. it was hard going through work during those times but i have managed to enjoyed it though. i remember, last year's new years eve, i was alone in the male quarters at the 11th floor, watching all the fire works and smoking through our window, wishing that a stray bullet would come and hit me right then. bad thought i know but honestly i was hoping it would happen just to know how many people would come to my rescue. hehehe. i was too morbid back then.
this year is a whole lot different. 2008 had been good to me. its the year i got my liscence, the year i finally decided how my life would go as a physician and the year were i feel so complete coz of my nana. this is the first christmas i would be spending with someone i love. i was bargaining with nina to give me the christmas duty so that i could have more time with my nana but i guess her need was more than i wanted. right now im enjoying my vacation. a week long vacation may seem to be too little time to spend with family, friends and nana. i hope i could extend more.
nana and i are on our 10th month, going 11th, on febuary we'll turn a year. so fast. i still remember all the first times. the chat, the call, the meet up. i never thought we'd end up together and stay this long. honestly, i was dying to be his bf eversince i met him. di ko lang pinahalata ng masyado na patay na patay ako sa kanya. hahaha. many people say ang swerte ko sa asawa ko. maalaga, sweet, mapagmahal. he never left me all throughout my first months in residency. he would always make time to see me at work, bring me foods and just recently sponsored our door prizes for our christmas party which to every people's delight was a sold out. i know i have much to thank God for giving him to me. his pure heart who always extend to people in need always makes me proud. i have never met someone who's heart is always geared towards other people's need that sometimes he sacrifices himself to a certaing degree. i wonder how he can put up with all of this, that's why i stay away from pressuring him. i always try to give him support and unconditional love which i hope reaches him even in the littlest measurement. its right when people say that with having a relationship every priorities you have will change. now, i always make it a point that my nana know where i am, who im with and what im doing, my decisions are without his opinion. i value my nana so much that i consider him my life.
this morning, my nana got troubled when their househelp screamed that his dog was dead. imagine him crying while brushing his teeth (eksena sa teleserye ng evagina fondle) tapus lumabas sya ng nakatapis, na pinagtinginan sya ng mga tao na kumakagat kagat pa ng labi. di pala dead si doggy, labas lang ang dila at mukhang nag hypogly lang, so my nana got relieved. i guess dun nakuha ng nana ang galing nya sa pag alaga sakin (aso ako e), at ang galing ko sa pagmamahal ng amo ko. hahaha. di naman ako lumalaban sau nana di ba? tsk! love ko yang nana ko.
this christmas, i dont have much to wish but for my nana's happiness, that God would always bring him blessings, in his work and to his family. that God always bring him good health. i love him so much that i cannot afford to lose him. thank you nana for always sharing your life with me, for keeping up with me all through these times, may it be hard time or those happy times. thank you for loving my family and friends. thank you for being part of my life. thank you for making me feel special this christmas and in everyday. i don't want to lose you. i cant wait to be with you in one house. i promise to take care of you and to love you for more years to come.
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Say You'll Never Go
How can I make it through the day
Without you
You have been so much a part of me
(and if you'll go)
I'll never know what to do
How can I carry on my way
The memories
When all that is left is the pain of my history
Why should I live my life today
I cannot live out on my own
And just forget the love you've always shown
And accept the fate of my condition
Please don't ever go
For I cannot live my life alone
CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away
How can I make my dreams come true
Without you
You were the one who gave love to me
(And don't you know)
You are my fantasy
I cannot live out on my own
(I can't do anything at all)
And just forget the love you've always shown
And accept the fate of my condition
Please don't ever go
For I cannot live my life alone
CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away
(Instrumental)
CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away
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