How appropiate

this has long been overdue, i havent had the time or should i say i didnt put time into my blogging. its year 2008, the year that me and my highschool friends made a pact to reunite. 10 years has passed since we made the pact.

year 2007 was bittersweet. good coz half of the year was special and half of it was otherwise not so ordinary. as most of my friends know already, I AM SINGLE. just this afternoon, i went back in OM to visit some of my resident friends. i came upon doc peter who for some apparent reason asked:

Doc peter: kamusta na kau ni...?

Me: huh? wala na kme...

Doc peter: nung pinakilala mo sakin? yung gwaping? (kailangan ba tlga may ganun?)

Me: Oo nga... tagal na.

So there i was brought back again to my senses that I AM SINGLE. the rest of the afternoon i spent hanging out with Doc eva, Doc Pia and Doc Lea. I stumbled upon our IM clerk's logbook and together with ara, we reminisced the good ol days.

so what happened to me for the past months i failed to blog?

NOVEMBER

i was rotating at IM, one duty i was paged by the nurses on the 7th floor extension, telling me that my patient was freaking out, complaining that her arms are swelling. Thinking that it was probably some phlebitis, i went downstairs to the patient's room. there i saw my patient, lying supine on her bed, mumbling words i barely understood. i came up to her asked what happened:

Patient: doc lumalaki ako... sasabog ako...

Me: ma'm di ka lumalaki... lumiliit lang kme

my insides wanted to laugh, until she blurted "doc di ako nakikipag biruan sa inyo". then i understood, the patient was having anxiety attack. and you know the main reason? she is afraid that her husband or should i say her live-in partner who at that time was also there, was going to leave her. the patient begged her husband to step out of the room and to have a private talk with me. right there and then i though "shyet she's gonna kill me, or strangle me". well she didnt. but i stayed in her room for half an hour talking about her anxieties. there was one topic about relationships that i controlled myself from crying. she asked me about my lovelife. i told her everything. as in everything. i cant beleive im disclosing myself to a lunatic, yet it really felt good, coz i know she'll forget about it the next time she has an attack. i was so close to crying coz i felt shes so lucky to have someone by her side. thinking the fact that shes not pretty (yes beleive me) and her bf was goodlooking, the idea that her bf was there made me realize that it can happen. stuffs like real love. of course the benefit of the doubt whether or not her bf was cheating on her is always there. anyhow, the struggle between me and my patient came to a halt when i made an alibi that another patient is in need of my care. the funny thing about it was even up to the time the patient was for discharge, she was begging the nurses to look for me. i didnt show up. :)

its really a refreshing feeling to talk to crazy people... you should try.

DECEMBER

our intern's monitor asked what duties would we want for the holiday season. since I AM SINGLE, i immediately chose the eve of both xmas and new year thinking it could save me less efffort being lonely during those times. i was wrong. christmas was so so, i didnt felt too much loneliness, eventhough i didnt get an expected greeting from someone. well i thought it just suppose to be. New year came and it was harder. i mean, New year was my all time fav day of the year. but that eve while on duty, watching the sky lit up, it gave me a sense of sadness. unmindful of people greeting me, i felt like i didnt deserve them. i went down at the ER and joined the people merry making. i got so drunk, we all went outside and howl at every cars and firetrucks. it was fun. for a second i forgot what my loneliness was for.

the following day, frank handed me this article... how appropriate...