today marks the third week since i lost my phone. i dont remember wallowing about its loss but i did whine from the lost contacts. i thought what the hell, i dont need a phone, i dont even use it often now. but at the end of the day, i miss reading through the unread msgs i have in my inbox, looking through who miss called me, i miss going to bed sending goodnight quotes to people, i miss my phone alarming me to wake up, i miss those late night botherings, i miss taking pic on my phone, i just miss it.
however, things seem to be much easier coz i dont have to wait for somebody else's text to arrive, be anxious about it, and be bitter after the "no-text-for-you" syndrome. but what really saddens me is that feeling that after your day ends, when you look out the hospital as you walk farther away from it, you feel empty... alone. that no matter how many patients you have met, some of them are interesting, most of them are irritating, no matter how many babies you delivered, no matter how many moms youve helped with, no matter how many abortions that got in your nerves, i seem to lack something. that feeling of despair that from among so many people in the world, there i am, walking home... alone.
maybe im wishing too far from my league. maybe im expecting something to come my way. maybe im not as contented as i would always tell myself. maybe i just miss people. i miss having someone. or perhaps, im just thinking too much.
maybe...
maybe not...
No comments:
Post a Comment