Monday, April 17, 2006

three weeks of no mobile...a much simplier sadder life

today marks the third week since i lost my phone. i dont remember wallowing about its loss but i did whine from the lost contacts. i thought what the hell, i dont need a phone, i dont even use it often now. but at the end of the day, i miss reading through the unread msgs i have in my inbox, looking through who miss called me, i miss going to bed sending goodnight quotes to people, i miss my phone alarming me to wake up, i miss those late night botherings, i miss taking pic on my phone, i just miss it.

however, things seem to be much easier coz i dont have to wait for somebody else's text to arrive, be anxious about it, and be bitter after the "no-text-for-you" syndrome. but what really saddens me is that feeling that after your day ends, when you look out the hospital as you walk farther away from it, you feel empty... alone. that no matter how many patients you have met, some of them are interesting, most of them are irritating, no matter how many babies you delivered, no matter how many moms youve helped with, no matter how many abortions that got in your nerves, i seem to lack something. that feeling of despair that from among so many people in the world, there i am, walking home... alone.

maybe im wishing too far from my league. maybe im expecting something to come my way. maybe im not as contented as i would always tell myself. maybe i just miss people. i miss having someone. or perhaps, im just thinking too much.

maybe...

maybe not...

Friday, April 14, 2006


i dont have a stiffy... its not ibby that im covering ok?
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

at our clerk's quarters... sobra init dyan grabe! pero lumipat na kme sa kabilang quarters. hehe
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

may unan!!!! pero picture muna!
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

janna, kandi and me... from duty (halatang halata) tulog na tayo
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

mga from duty! puyat? hmmm? kaya pa!
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

service A with our loveliest OB resident... Dra Pau
IV fluid infused with D5LRS

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

kailan ang unang araw ng huling regla mo misis?

i cant beleive i have surpassed almost one month of clerkship. my current rotation is at OB, i still have another month in this department. going back at iti learned a lot about me, about my profession, about people.

1. i saw hundreds of faces of poverty, not to mention their hygiene. imagine, moms coming to us stinking so hard that sometimes you cant breathe, but nevertheless, you have to endure putting your face in front of their genitals as they pass their lovely babies out.

2. i learned that 164 hours of demerits can be given in one single dose. yep! our service had that in one blow just barely one wik of starting. reason? incomplete labs, no progress reports, no clinical abstracts of more than 30 patients. but look at us now, our resident doctors always said that we r the most improved group. slowly our demerits are becoming merits. hehe.

3. i learned that anesthesia is of little use to normal vaginal delieries. in the real, sterile world, in NSD, you do right medial lateral episiotomy so as not to cut through the perinum and damage the rectum in the process, in the end youd get a 2nd degree laceration (most of the time), and in repairing them (suturing) youd put lidocaine as anesthesia. but in the surreal, unsterile world of OM, we dont put anesthesia. the pains of labor is what we call our own "local anesthesia". the mother not only screams of pain of passing a baby and having her genitals cut, but screams at us, making curses. in retaliation, whenever i do the cleansing of their uterus, i put my whole arms inside and scrape away their bad mouth until they cant scream no more. hehehe.

4. i learned that i have this habit of being autoritarian to my patients. i cant help it. i hate patients who come to us at the ER, and when you take their history youd take as long as 30 minutes (which is by far the longest), coz they wouldnt speak up. as result, i end up being bad to them. but i promise, when i go back to OM next wik, ill keep my calm and patience. promise. i wont be the monster i am at the ER before.

5. my spill at the wards to my patients "misis, naka-utot ka na, nakatae ka na? pwede ka na umuwi"... and my spill to my patients at the infirmary "good morning mommy! may bowel movement ka na?, pwede ka na umuwi IE ka ni doctora later". big difference? hehehe

6. i learned that even though how much you tell yourself to be patient, the more your patience blows out the window (esp from 2am to 5am).

7. i learned that in medicine, its very important to kiss ass with your seniors. no matter how iritated you are at the way they handle or conduct her way at the ER coz there are some things you know better than them, still you have to agree with them coz its how one would learn. i learned a lot about medicine in this way.

8. i learned to eat less, smoke more

9. i leanred that IM people are full of shits.

10. i learned that nurses are much full of shits.


[as of the moment my current statistics: 7 normal deliveries handled, 5 caesarian assistance, 2 gyne onco op, more then 15 missed IV line, 10 missed blood extraction, 1 CPR to an eventual demise of the patient, 1 fight with a med tech intern, less than 10 arguments with the nurnes and nursing aids, 1 poor endorsement to the IM people, a couple of merits from the Optha departments, 164 demerits, 96 hours merit from OB, 1 fight with my groupmates, a lot of loving and understanding after, 2 cute dads i met at the ER ( i especially treated their wives very well), 1 incident i cried from the pressure of the ER, and 100 and more of hours of fun, stress, running, crying, smiling, at the OB rotation. btw, less then 3 hours of sleep in a 24 hour duty. :) ]