Best Christmas

Best Christmas

Yesssss!!!!!!!!! After the long holidays and the stress that the Christmas rush (toxicity of buying gifts for my friends and family and my NANA) has brought into my system, magblolog na ko ulit! Yehey!

Nasa perpetual duty ( 8 days sa hospital ng walang uwian) ang nana ko and presently savoring his midazolam induced sleep after 4 days of continuously attending to ER patients kaya may time ako magsulat dahil walang text from him and walang surprise calls to release his stress…sleep tight nana…

This is the best Christmas of my life. I have my family with me, a good job, real friends, new friends ( care of nana like margaux, ara, paula, wapi, pia, lea, jason, igan, amee, jim, frank, nina, at madami pang iba!) and of course, my nana. The past years have just been so-so because I don’t have the complete “menu” (as stated above) in order for me to brand my past Christmases as “great” holiday seasons. I have a lot of things to thank God for and I never fail to take some quiet moments every now and then to thank HIM for everything that He has given me, my nana, and my family for the past year.

I got tons of gifts from friends, colleagues (puro alak naknampocha!) and from my nana too….In fact, pati mga pamangkin ko merong gift from him…Thank you sa watches na colorful para sa mga pamangkin ko…. Thanks sa madaming madaming chocolates and Danish cookies and acca kappa cologne, sa olay moisturizer, sa Armani bracelet, sa angel and devil dicks (rated PG to!) , sa madaming toothpaste na sensodyne at astring osol lozenges, sa mga toys and clothes for kuya jing’s kids, sa prep H for my dad, and of course, sa pagmamahal! Nakanaaaaaahhhhh! God knows how thankful I am coz I have my nana with me for he is very supportive of the simple acts of charity that we have been extending to the less privileged people that we personally know. I’m glad that he has the heart to care for them too. Swerte ko talaga sa nana ko. Kahit gano ka toxic yan sa hospital, he really finds time to be of assistance to anyone who needs help. Kahit nga ako, tinoxic ko nana nung magdodonate kami ng slightly used clothes sa mga nangangailangan. Isang sabi ko lang na “ sige na nana, mag ayos ka na ng closet mo and lahat ng mga damit na ayaw mo na, donate na natin, pretty please?”….and he actually did kahit na puyat and from duty yan! He never fails to amaze me…The past 11 months (almost) that we’re together, I’m always in awe to learn more about his true self. May mga patakaran pala siya sa buhay na nakakatuwa (like dapat by 6:30 nag dinner na, dapat mag yawn na siya ng 8:30 pm para by 9:00 pm tulog na siya, dapat hindi na kumakain beyond 7 pm, etc etc) and may mga patakaran din siyang mahilig mamroblema sa mga bagay bagay kahit hindi pa nangyayari. Hahahaha….He’s still a baby in many aspects but when it comes to assigning tasks and responsibilities, he’s damn good in handling them. Makulit yan, sumasagot ng pabalang, hindi nakikinig minsan, opinionated, mayabang, pero sobrang responsible and he never leaves challenging tasks without resolutions. Madaming sasabihin yan sa mga pinapagawa ko sa kanya pero at the end of the day, susunod din.  The more I get to know him, the more I love my nana talaga. These could be the reasons why he is surviving his residency now. And I know that these traits will be of great aid for him to go through the program at OM.

We are doing a lot of sacrifices now ( we refrained from out of town/country trips kahit na mahaba ang bakasyon, no drinking sprees coz baka hindi makapag duty ang nana, etc. ) due to his perpetual duty but I know that in due time, we will be reaping the fruits of his labors. Lagi ko ngang sinasabi sa nana na konting tiis lang. Lahat naman ng pinaghihirapan eh may bunga. Sabi ko nga sa kanya in jest na “ pagbutihan mo ang residency program mo para pag consultant ka na, mapag aral natin ang mga bata sa matinong iskwelahan at hindi lang sa mababang paaralan ng santa henobeba”.Hehehe….Just trying to make him smile amidst his toxicity at work.

It feels great to know that I have someone in my life now that I constantly think of making happy. Parang regalo talaga siya sa buhay ko….Before Christmas, he kept on asking me kung ano gusto ko na gift. Sabi ko nga, siya pa lang, gift na from God. Ayaw maniwala. Kaya nga pag magkasama kami, I have this habit of treating him like a gift. Lahat kasi ng regalo na natatanggap ko, I take time to examine them closely. Para akong bata na paulit ulit tinitignan ito. Inaappreciate. Ganun din ako sa nana ko…..I always make kalikot. Sa teeth nya kung ano dapat pastahan at ipabunot dahil hobby niya ang magpatanggal ng molars, sa buhok niya kung ano dapat ipagupit, sa mukha niya kung ano dapat i-shave, sa ilong niya na gusto niya ipa rhino kahit di naman kailangan, sa kamay niya na unti unti ng tumataba ang fingers, sa paa niya na ang liit at ang cute tignan, sa mga kuko niya na parang mga buhay na tao bawat isa, at sa marami pang bagay at sa lahat lahat sa kanya….. Wala ako nito nung mga nakaraang Pasko kaya I consider this season as the best one that I ever had. Mahal ko talaga nana ko maging ano ka man, este sino ka man! (Ginawa talagang bagay na regalo literally waaaaaahhh!)

Thank you for being my nana… thank you for the gift of love and care…...Love ko nana ko with all my heart!

my nana's christmas wish

i just arrived home from our xmas getaway togther with my nana. dami ko dala, gifts for my nana, for his nephews and niece, toys for kuya jing's son (adopted child na namin ng nana), chocolates for my nana who always have a sweet tooth for anything, danish cookies (last resort ko to kse wala pala fita biscuits sa duty free).

my nana bought me 10 gifts, a polo from g2000, kenneth cole signature perfume, accacapa cologne, a trodat with ink, toronto cap, vintage wine for my parents, caps and shirts for my male residents, and a toy for margaux's son, but the best of it all is the OMEGA seadiver's watch in rose gold. grabe sobrang dami ng gift ng nana ko. nahiya tuloy ako. kse yung gift ko sa kanya accacapa din na cologne. hahaha. bawi na lang ako sa bday mo nana. hehehe. sorry paula ang onti ng bigay sakin ng asawa ko. tsk! hahahaha



this is the 1st xmas where i recieved tons of gifts. the other day while me and my family were going home from MOA, my dad commented "ang pasko para na lang tlga sa mga bata". i sighed and just kept quiet. i realized now that there's no reason to equate xmas with kids coz i felt like a kid again opening gifts from my nana. i was elated. i knew nana spent a lot na naman for me though he kept on telling me to be thrifty coz we will be moving out soon to our own home. thank you nana.

above all else the best gift i have ever recieved was my nana himself. he continues to be the best husband anyone could have. his care and his utmost sincerity with his love always makes me proud that i finally met someone like him. a lot of people say im too lucky to have him. i say, he's too lucky he got me. hahaha. and i declare that fact. di ba nana? hahaha. i could not ask for anything more this christmas. i have everything i need. i have a life full of love, a relationship built on trust, fidelity and understanding, and a husband that is priceless. thank you nana for eveything. saying i love you, thanking you would not account to match the love you have been giving me, the only thing that i can assure you of is that im always here for you, for all ways and always. i love you so dearly. i miss you already.

pictures 2

pictures

holiday happy days

i have always had a grudge with christmas and the holiday season. why? since childhood i barely recall one happy christmas. i was sickly back then and i dont know for such reason why sickness always come on christmas season. i even have pictures where all of my family were in nice dresses and me in my pajamas coz im bedridden. sigh. its either i was sick or my parents werent home for christmas. medicine life came and i was even more exhausted with christmas. last year during my internship, due to my depression, i aggreed to take all eve duties, christmas eve and new years eve. it was an eye opener for me. it was hard going through work during those times but i have managed to enjoyed it though. i remember, last year's new years eve, i was alone in the male quarters at the 11th floor, watching all the fire works and smoking through our window, wishing that a stray bullet would come and hit me right then. bad thought i know but honestly i was hoping it would happen just to know how many people would come to my rescue. hehehe. i was too morbid back then.

this year is a whole lot different. 2008 had been good to me. its the year i got my liscence, the year i finally decided how my life would go as a physician and the year were i feel so complete coz of my nana. this is the first christmas i would be spending with someone i love. i was bargaining with nina to give me the christmas duty so that i could have more time with my nana but i guess her need was more than i wanted. right now im enjoying my vacation. a week long vacation may seem to be too little time to spend with family, friends and nana. i hope i could extend more.

nana and i are on our 10th month, going 11th, on febuary we'll turn a year. so fast. i still remember all the first times. the chat, the call, the meet up. i never thought we'd end up together and stay this long. honestly, i was dying to be his bf eversince i met him. di ko lang pinahalata ng masyado na patay na patay ako sa kanya. hahaha. many people say ang swerte ko sa asawa ko. maalaga, sweet, mapagmahal. he never left me all throughout my first months in residency. he would always make time to see me at work, bring me foods and just recently sponsored our door prizes for our christmas party which to every people's delight was a sold out. i know i have much to thank God for giving him to me. his pure heart who always extend to people in need always makes me proud. i have never met someone who's heart is always geared towards other people's need that sometimes he sacrifices himself to a certaing degree. i wonder how he can put up with all of this, that's why i stay away from pressuring him. i always try to give him support and unconditional love which i hope reaches him even in the littlest measurement. its right when people say that with having a relationship every priorities you have will change. now, i always make it a point that my nana know where i am, who im with and what im doing, my decisions are without his opinion. i value my nana so much that i consider him my life.

this morning, my nana got troubled when their househelp screamed that his dog was dead. imagine him crying while brushing his teeth (eksena sa teleserye ng evagina fondle) tapus lumabas sya ng nakatapis, na pinagtinginan sya ng mga tao na kumakagat kagat pa ng labi. di pala dead si doggy, labas lang ang dila at mukhang nag hypogly lang, so my nana got relieved. i guess dun nakuha ng nana ang galing nya sa pag alaga sakin (aso ako e), at ang galing ko sa pagmamahal ng amo ko. hahaha. di naman ako lumalaban sau nana di ba? tsk! love ko yang nana ko.

this christmas, i dont have much to wish but for my nana's happiness, that God would always bring him blessings, in his work and to his family. that God always bring him good health. i love him so much that i cannot afford to lose him. thank you nana for always sharing your life with me, for keeping up with me all through these times, may it be hard time or those happy times. thank you for loving my family and friends. thank you for being part of my life. thank you for making me feel special this christmas and in everyday. i don't want to lose you. i cant wait to be with you in one house. i promise to take care of you and to love you for more years to come.

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Say You'll Never Go

How can I make it through the day
Without you
You have been so much a part of me
(and if you'll go)
I'll never know what to do
How can I carry on my way
The memories
When all that is left is the pain of my history
Why should I live my life today

I cannot live out on my own
And just forget the love you've always shown
And accept the fate of my condition
Please don't ever go
For I cannot live my life alone

CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away

How can I make my dreams come true
Without you
You were the one who gave love to me
(And don't you know)
You are my fantasy

I cannot live out on my own
(I can't do anything at all)
And just forget the love you've always shown
And accept the fate of my condition

Please don't ever go
For I cannot live my life alone

CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away

(Instrumental)

CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away