Happy Birthday enzo!

This is my video account of my bestfriend's caesarian operation at OM.

Surgeons: Dra Angeles and Dra. Pineda

I was suppose to scrub in but the nurses might not approve of it since im not anymore connected with the hospital. :) anyway, the baby's score was 9,9 and it has big balls. geez! mana ata sa ama! haha. it was a great experience. may bago na naman ako inaanak nyan hehe. sana maging good boy sya and i promise her mother ill take good care of him. Swerte ng bestfriend ko, walang bayad na CS! pati gamit kme ng prepare! hehe HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENZO

Final diagnosis: Pregnancy Uterine, 37 5/7 weeks AOG by LMP, delivered via primary CS a live baby boy. AS: 9,9 BW: 6lbs.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

today's my birthday... some of the wishes i made may have not been realized but nevertheless its one event in every year i always look forward to. three days ago, some of my friends has been greeting me in advance, and this morning everyone was like all excited. jaja kept on greeting me expecting that i would give a treat. which eventually i did. i bought an ice cream for the whole interns to eat. thanks to AR for buying it. just too bad jaja wasnt able to stay to lavish on the ice cream i bought much from her eagerness to greet me. hehe. i felt really special. i felt loved. it was then i realized that im not alone afterall. sbi ko nga sa mga friends ko na ang birthday ko katumbas ng pagsilang ni jesus, ganun sya ka special and ka-eventful. hahahaha. funny lang coz some of my friends was asking me if i revcieved a greeting from that someone. and fortunately i did. i recieved that one greeting that i have been expecting all these times. it was short i know. but it meant a lot for me. it was the grandest gift i recieved. it was the greeting that would end all greetings. hehe. i was wanting to be told that "i love you" thing but its ok... maybe it wasnt really supposed to be.

right now i have come to accept things. its my 25th birthday. i thought this year id be spending it with someone, well i guess its another year ill be sharing it alone. but im contented. there may be instances i would still feel lonely but i will carry on.

During our grand duty party at the Pedia Department. I had the greatest time with the department. They made me consider going to Pedia for my residency. hmmmm... OB pa rin. hahaha

This is my bestfriend margaux on NST (non-stress test). Her result was ok, and the baby was fine. she used to have a belly button (kasama nya ko when she opted to get one) and now all her belly have is the linea nigra and a hundred stretch marks. hahaha. i love you bestfriend. thanks for all the comforting words. i still owe you that money i know! haha

Si margarita matapos sya maitable ng dalawang naggagwapuhang lalake. hehehe

TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO GREETED ME, IM SO BLESSED TO HAVE YOU ALL.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

HAIL TO THE NEW BREED OF DOCTORS

congratulations to my fellow doctors... to my ex-interns, kayo ang idol ko... :)

top schools with >100 examinees:
1. UP Manila College of Medicine - 141/142 (99%) - kung sino man ung isa na un dont worry magaling ka pa rin
2. UST Faculty of Medicine & Surgery - 298/327 (91%) - i plan to take my review with them
3. FEU NRMF - 155/188 (82%) - whaaat? they're a suprise... dark horse hehe

top schools with <100 examinees
1. CIM- 100% (54/54) - no comment
2. MSU - 93% (28/30) - magaling to sa visayas region... no wonder
3. PLM - 89% (76/85) - SOBRA GALING! bias ako! hehe we havent gotten below 87% sa boards. galing talaga ng mga doctor ng scholars ng maynila. sayang di lahat nag take ng boards. sana sa batch namin lahat. and sana lahat pumasa para 100% hehehe. the saturday review is also worth siting in but mas maganda sa library cgro. hehe

others:
4. St. Luke's - 84% - ilan kaya sila nag take ... hmmmm 3?
5. St. Louis U - 82% - another underrated school... toxic mga students nila, nakasama ko sila sa san lazaro... and sila lang ang may tyagang mag rounds kse hindi time mag rounds... adik ata sila
6. UERM - 80% (the used to pass in the 50%) - hmmm... another "used to be" school
7. WVSU - 79% - anu tong school na to?

long weekend

friday was nina's birthday. frank, ara, janna, wapi and me went to QC for her simple celebration. unmindful of the storm we headed north for my own craving for beer and to see nina on her most special day. i was the one driving and i toured them to places i have been to in QC, especially in UP area. places i used to booze around. places were i go to whether i may be on preduty or post-duty. and ara was exclaiming there i go again reminiscing. driving down those familiar roads and seeing familiar places made me remember those good ol times. yung parehas kme walang walang pera, that all i got is 200pesos for gas and him 150 or so. we would order barbeque, isaw and liempo costing us less than a hundred then i'd buy us drinks na titipirin namin para makaabot lang ng 12mn na may iniinom pa kme. on occasions that i have more extra money, we'd buy more drinks and i go home feeling tipsy driving down edsa trying not to sleep. anyway going back, that night, i had all the beer i could get my hands on. i beleive i had 6 bottles, not to mention the shots i get whenever i go inside nina's house to pee. so there i was drunk. all the songs playing on the videoke were my songs. songs that remind me of you. i know it was a deliberate thing my friends did but somehow it felt nice, you know, being drunk, laughing insessantly, and lonely all at the same time. Hani jay, one of my barkada way back in premed was also there, the last time we saw each other was graduation, circa 2003. 4 years but it still felt like we didnt changed. makulit pa rin sya. he would tell me stories on how doctors come up to him with indescent proposals, and the how he play along (of course di sya pumapatol di ba, isa lang syang sabihin na nating magaling dumiskarte) hehe. anyway, by 1130, we decided to call it a night. frank didnt let me drive since i was so drunk. he drove my car till Makati where he dropped himself off and Sig (a PGI from PGH) was also with us and he drive us to manila until PGH. Frankie gave us two bags of pandesal para daw may almusal kme that morning. hehe from there on, i was sober enough to drive by myself and reach MCM just in time that the heavy rain poured down. i didnt brought extra clothes thinking that i could still go home. but wapi lend me his clothes, from the polo, the pants, the brief and the socks. good thing i was on early relievement the following day that i went home without even taking a bath (and yes bilang isang doctor, dapat masanay na di naliligo. hehehe).

back at home, i slept my heart out. i was awaken at 2pm with my stomach grumbling for food (since i didnt ate dinner last night and the breakfast was as good as not to eat as well). after eating i went back to bed, and woke up 7pm to blog. my body is so heavy from sleeping. i still have tom to sleep all day. perhaps ill get myself busy by cleaning my room, and doing my presentation for the case report ill be doing about neonatal hypoglycemia.

eventhough i have tons to do and millions to think of.. i dont know but i still think about you. it is a bad habit i know. even bad to send an sms from time to time eventhough i know i wouldnt be recieving a reply. im still in tha period where i still dont understand things. that there is something missing with the way we left things. why am i still hoping? why do i feel like there's a catch with all of this? this morning, as i was preparing my things, getting my used clothes off my locker and stuffing them in my bag, with the gloomy skyline that morning, i looked outside the penthouse's window, and i felt sad.

i wonder how other people could live empty lives like this. as cars ran down the street and few people running so as no to catch the impending outpour, at the top of a building was someone wishing things could have been better.

Post-grad interns as we practice for the 40th Celebration of MCM, we did a handmime, which to everyone's delight we had a repeat performance the night of the alumni homecoming.

Final layout of the intern's poster.. there are spaces still coz i havent been blessed with a good lighting these past few days that the rain been pouring. hopefully by this coming week i could be able to finish all the pending photo shoot.

be M.D./

Here's a preview of the intern's poster that im busy doing (Keeping me out of feeling jaded). It's a copy of the "be bench/" poster. It's not the usual poster you'd see in the hospital where each department would show their roster of residents, ours is in a way very ambitious. hehe. i want a poster that would make everyone think that doctors can be pretty and cute beyond their toxic duties. i have shown this to our president and co-interns and they were all raving about it. i just hope that the hospital director will allow us to post this in the hospital. hehe. by the way, i took all the pictures except for mine (kandi did), my frustrations as a photographer was yet again revived. hehe.

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i had a toxic duty last night, i had roughly 15 ER consults, 2 admissions and 1 DOA (dead on arrival). the last was the most exhausting. the grandmother (together with the parents) arrived at the ER carrying their 3 week old infant, the nose was covered in blood and the baby was cyanotic. as i saw it i knew the baby has been dead for almost an hour. we quickly placed the baby in the bed, i started suctioning the mouth and what i got was a mixture of blood and milk. From that moment i knew the patient was aspirated and we found out that the mother overslept with feeding the baby. upon hearing that, at the back of my head i want to slap the mother. i hate the fact that babies get neglected. they should be guarded 24/7, its their job. i took my composure as i suction the baby, then we started doing CPR. my resident intubated the baby while i venoclysed fast drip, but i knew it would be impossible for us to revive the kid. it was hopeless. we administered epinephrine 5x still it were getting a flat line. after 45 minutes of rigorous resuscitation the grandmother told us to stop. the patient came 5am, he died 6am. it felt like it was the first time i saw a baby die right in front of me. even in clerkship, i knew i was a "balahura" but deep inside of me cries the anger whenever someone dies especially babies. that's the reason i dont condsider pedia as my residency program. i just couldnt stand it.

later, i spent the entire from-duty status trying to catch some sleep. but i can't. i felt empty. i still feel depressed. i was lucky the whole duty was toxic i forgot that i was alone. i texted doc lea that i needed company. she called me up and asked me if i can come over to OM so as we can talk. and we did. it was a relief seeing her. she saw me fall in love, give everything, and she saw me sad. she told me things that made me feel more sad and comforted at the same time. she made me realized that while im hurting, im still fine. that while everything didnt came out the way i thought it would be, still there's a chance. chance for me to know myself more and chance to hope for something. a day after our untimely separation, nina dropped by unknowlingly at MCM, i also told her everything, she told me that i would be fine as well.

i miss my love... i know it would be premature to ask for us to be together again, but one of my friends told me to wait, that there are some problems that we should let heal by itself, and there are some that should be accepted. right now im just praying to God that whatever his plans would be, i shall not falter.

i still love you every minute of every second of every hour of everyday... im sorry for everything i have caused and things i cannot give...